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SubSpace Static Archive
214
Previous Years
Intergalactic News
Issue 28
Issue 27
Issue 26
Issue 25
Issue 24
Issue 23
Issue 22
Older Issues
 
213.26 - 213.30

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.26  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


Subspace Static - Star Date 213.27  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.27.5

***** Inter Overlord Kang News *****

*** Message From The Editor ***

Overlord Kang has been faced with many interesting questions this week. Questions like:

‘Kang, why is your tentacle crushing my chest?’

‘Kang, do you know I can’t work so hard when you’re driving a tank over my children?’

And perhaps MOST IMPORTANTLY:

‘Kang, why is this weeks edition of THE NEWS late?’

Well, Kang has many useful answers for all of these questions, but Kang is too poorly to address them at this time. PITY NOT OVERLORD KANG AND HIS ILLNESS! Pity instead Kang’s worthless mucus slaves whose job it is to attend Kang’s needs when ill.

AND YOU DARE ASK WHY THIS WEEKS EDITION IS LATE?

Kang will explain this to you after all. Kang only considers the news worth reporting when a certain number of meatsacks have been killed in a week, and this week THERE HAVE BEEN AN INSUFFICIENT NUMBER OF MEATSACKS KILLED!

The fault is your own, KILL MORE MEATSACKS – GET MORE NEWS!

This is Kang’s new slogan. It should be yours too.


*** Teeming Hordes Threatened With Annihilation ***

Kang has heard that the planet ‘Earth’ known only as the birthplace of the fleshy meatsack race known as ‘humanity’ was almost the scene of a glorious slaughter this week, when the Confederacy – still Kang’s favourite ‘human’ affiliation thanks to their anti-matter blasting of civilians – sought to annihilate yet more civilians by opening up with their 5600 hulled defensive platform against the tedious DTR Starbase located on the planet below.

Tragically the tedious DTR appear to have over-invested in heavy shielding for their base, and only minimal damage was inflicted, with the grand total of two civilian casualties.

Kang is humiliated on your behalf, wretched Confederacy, for your embaressing failure to inflict any more casualties than that. BE WARY WRETCHED CONFEDERACY! FOR IF YOU DO NOT KILL MORE CIVILIANS, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE KANG’S FAVOURITE ‘HUMAN’ AFFILIATION!

Kang knows this worry will keep you up late at night.

Kang understands the civilian meatsacks on the planet below are concerned at the thought of being brutally annihilated by anti-matter warheads crashing down on their pathetic domiciles. Kang offers them bountiful employment in the Flagritz Empire instead.

Kang is amused that an Imperial vessel was responsible for all this mess in the first place by entering orbit with active enemy lists. Kang is more amused at how it was instantly vaporised by tedious defensive DTR fire.


*** Empire Of The Race Marches Forth With Tentacles High ***

Kang is sometimes asked if his editorial content is slanted in favour of his own race, the glorious and superior Flagritzi. Once Kang has finished executing those who dare question him, Kang is happy to explain that Kang is an equal opportunities hater, and Kang does not particularly like most of his fellow Flagritz all that much either. This is natural, Flagritz society would simply cease to function if we liked each other much. Why, just last week Kang was brutally torturing a Flagritz from the merchant caste that failed to show proper deference to Kang’s status as Overlord.

Kang digresses.

Kang is proud to announce that glorious warriors of the superior Flagritz race have engaged the wretched Confederacy in battle this week, in response to wretched Confederacy aggression.

Forces from the glorious Empire of the Race entered orbit of a CNF held planet in the Zewt system, and engaged ships within the orbit, a wretched CNF Platform and the similarly wretched CNF outpost where many meatsacks were understood to be wallowing in their own disgusting filth. Within a few days all ships and the Platform were destroyed and with the outpost shields failing the cowardly and wrong-headed BHD base entered the Combat in support of their cowardly meatsack neighbours.

Kang knows they are wrong-headed, as every time Kang twists one of their heads off, it comes off wrong.

The forces of the Imperium were given orders to return fire against the so-called Brotherhood, and brutal slaughter was enjoyed by many, as many many splendid days of orbital bombardment commenced against the Brotherhood Starbase Incendium, and wretched CNF outpost Angel’s Rest.

Kang enjoys a good one-sided orbital bombardment. And Kang only regrets that the glorious FLZ railgun ships failed to bring along sufficient ammunition, so were forced to withdraw, firing off one final volley that included those foolish Flagritz responsible for ammunition requisition.

FAILURE TO BRING ALONG SUFFICIENT AMMO IS NOT TOLERATED AMONGST THE FLAGRITZ RACE!


*** Brutal Meatsack Killed By Less Brutal Meatsacks ***

The Kastorian terrorist known as Kanji has reportedly been apprehended and killed this week.

Kang understands the FET are desperate to get their hands on Kanji’s cold dead body.

KANG ASKS YOU THIS: ARE THE FET THAT INTO DEAD BODIES? KANG IS DISGUSTED BY YOU! THE BODIES OF YOUR ENEMIES SHOULD BE EATEN FRESH, JUST MOMENTS AFTER YOU KILL THEM! WHILE THEY ARE STILL WARM!

Barbarians. Kang is surrounded by barbarians.

And no, vile FET, you cannot ‘microwave’ him.

Do you even have a microwave large enough to fit an entire meatsack inside?

Kang does. AND KANG HAD TO HAVE IT SPECIALLY BUILT!

Kang enjoys microwaving meatsacks while they are still alive.


*** Insignificant Meatsacks Achieve Insignificance ***

The tedious DTR have destroyed a vile Confederate facility that was lurking in their home system of Venice today. Was the vile Confederate facility an outpost? Was it a platform? Or was it a small child’s dollhouse?

KANG CARES NOT!


***** Overlord Kang’s Column Of Agony *****


Dear Kang,

Why yo mama so fat?

Yrs,
Anon.



Meatsack Anon,

Yo mama so fat the Hexamon mistook her for a moon and blew her up.

BEHOLD! OVERLORD KANG HAS DELIVERED WHAT YOU PUNY EARTHLINGS CALL A BURN!

Signed with broken nuke,

KANG!



***** Frontier Express Times Vol. Two *****

An occasional publication published occasionally
"All the news that's fit to print! (Or maybe not!)"


High Society
by Rita Skeeter

Surprise of Surprises! Whom do you think was observed doing the town last night?!

None other then that AFT heartbreaker, the simply magnificent Miss Mona Luvvsit; she was escorted by the dashing Pahl Kantner, Oyabun of the FET cartel. Miss Mona looked positively resplendent in a sinfully low-cut, empire-waist red evening gown of the finest Hive Silk, paired with a luxurious Brocker Fur stole. Kantner too cut quite the figure in his Old Earth-style Prussian Blue uniform, complete with a gold & platinum chased dueling saber, and knee-high leather jackboots.

They were first seen early in the evening at Free Coalition’s finest establishment, the everso posh Chez Zee-eN. There they dined on Eridani Lobster and Booker Steaks ala Antoine accompanied by bottles (and bottles) of Paradise & Harper’s Fern Wines; followed by a desert tray of Old Earth Fruits & Albourne Cheese.

From there the two spent the night flitting to & from the finest clubs in Free Coalition, Astris, & Centrepoint City, dancing the night away. Afterward they yachted over to Spritzer where they were last seen quietly slipping into Miss Mona’s private suite over the Jiggly Room. (Oh, to have been a mosquito on that wall?!)

That’s all for now, my lovelies!

This is Rita signing off! Till next time -- Stay Shiney!


This news item has been brought to you by the fine people of the Naughty Nuns! Nuevo San Francisco's bestest Bar & Brothel.
"Naughty Nuns! -- Where the Sacrilegious can be Heavenly Fun!!"

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.28  [Recruit]




***** Inter! Super! Galactic! Soaraway! News! *****


*** Overlord On Holidays! Minions Rejoice! ***

Unpleasant and decidedly alien thug Overlord Kang has departed for holidays for a week, due to an over-infection of rage brought on by having to deal with mindless reporters, clearing the way for another edition of the Galaxies most popular redtop daily, the Stunning Super Soaraway Sub Space Static, or SSSSSS! Bringing you more news! More celebrities! More pointless rumour-mongering! More gratuitious nudity! And more hatred of things that are different than you can shake a stick at!

It weren’t like this when I were a lad! Everything were better!

AND THAT’S OFFICIAL!


*** Whoops – That’s My Platform ***

The careless bible thumping anti-fun brigade known as the ‘Brotherhood’ are understood to have lost the platform Rogue Affair to disgusting alien activity this week!


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Dewiek forces reported the annihilation of the platform, with no loss amongst their own. The Super Soaraway Subspace Static suspects immigrants must be behind this somehow!


*** Anti-Matter Panic! ***

According to recently published and completely scientifically accurate evidence, Anti-matter is now known to CAUSE CANCER!

As well as horrible explodey death.

Which is worse though readers? Cancer, or horrible explodey death? YOU DECIDE! VOTE NOW!*

*votes cost 3 standard stellars plus your regular network rate.


*** Who died? Not me guv’nor! ***

Rumours were circulating this week that the glorious emperor of Humanity, Lysander, was killed during an unfortunate hunting accident!

It turned out what really happened was Emperor Lysander (True One bless His name) actually shot and killed a hunting assistant, but it was an untitled commoner, so no great loss!

Hats off, your royal emperorship, and happy shooting!


*** Aliens: Officially Useless! ***


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*** Sneaky Pirates On The Game? ***

Adverts have gone up around known space as those cheeky pirate types the RIP appear to be back in business and looking to lay their hands on some employees!

Employment agencies are reported to be inundated with calls from unemployed slackers too afraid to take the RIP up on this fantastic employment opportunity on the basis that it might somehow involve piracy or slavery!

Get off your bikes! Shirtless layabouts! Any job is a good job!


*** Ancient Alien Scourge? Not In This Galaxy Matey! ***

Dewiek forces are reporting the destruction of yet another TCA vessel this week, the TCA Confounded and Culpable!

There’s no stopping the rampaging Dewiek as they continue to make a farce of the so-called ‘feared’ ancient alien race, leading many to conclude that the TCA simply don’t like it up ‘em!


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*** SSS Type Setters On Strike! ***

The department of the sub-space static in charge of exclamation marks have gone on strike this week as new editorial directions have resulted in a 8279% increase in exclamation marks! A specialist team has been brought in to pick up the slack, slack which in this case is unquestionably the fault of filthy foreigners!


*** Confederacy Torn Asunder! ***

Shocking news this week as reports seem to indicate the Brotherhood have left the formal alliance of the Confed-bloc in which they have been a part for longer than this reporter can remember! Quite what this means is yet to be uncovered, are the BHD unhappy with the direction the Empire of Humanity has been taking? Have pressures from the Dewiek forced them into neutrality to try and protect their assets? Or have they come into possession of some deep spiritual knowledge that is leading them off down a new path?

These are all questions too deep and complex for the SSSSSS! So let’s all talk about celebrities instead!


*** Treasure Winters ***

Beloved darling of the Detinus Republic, songstress Treasure Winters, has done absolutely nothing worthy of being in the news this week, so we dispatched photographers to stalk her on holiday! Stay tuned for hot bikini pictures!


*** Valhalla ***

The system of Valhalla is reporting an increase in pirate activity, with a number of small PIR scouts being destroyed. We have exclusively learnt that these pirate scouts were built by immigrant labour and were most likely FOREIGN to boot! No wonder they fell apart so easily!


*** Brotherhood Scientists Refute Gravity With New Intelligent Dropping Theory ***

Reacting angrily to recent reports that science has finally destroyed God, the Brotherhood have gone on a charm offensive this week, with a whole barrage of new theories that put The True One right back at the center of the Peripheries.

One Brotherhood spokesman explained how the great mystery of a Grand Unified Theory could finally be explained in simple terms understandable by even the most backwards of Confederate supporters: ‘It’s The True One, Dummy’. Along with advanced wormwhole theory: It’s The True One, Dummy’. And of course not forgetting Quantum Entanglement: ‘It’s The True One, Dummy’.


*** Super Soaraway Summer Sunshine Fun ***


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That is all.


*** Alien News From The Flagritz ***

The Mind of the HEX asked for Support from the Empire of the Race after an attack on the Hive base within Halo. A number of ships destroyed some CNF targets but them the main CNF fleet was seen and locked in combat

While Empire of the Race can report that the Battle is not yet over no Imperial ships have been destroyed

CNF No Opinion (9090) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 61.2
Hull Damage: 68.0%
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris

CNF Only Young (18740) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 24.1
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!

CNF Epiphany (53165) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 31.5
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!

CNF If You Came Back To Me (80831) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 45.8
Hull Damage: 100.0%
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris

CNF Don't Let It Be Love (81550) - Ship
Howitzer Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 50.5
Hull Damage: 100.0%
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris

Imperial Scout forces this week forced a route to the FLZ base within the Cluster system. It entered orbit to find a large force of BHD/CNF warships waiting. The Scout fleet locked the larger force in combat and forced the BHD/CNF fleet to flee.

The Empire does wonder if they did not like odds of over 7 to 1 what odds would the BHD/CNF like



***** Periphery Classifieds *****


*** Fish For Sale ***

A recent upgrade to the Ulian home-world sea fish processing facilities (the recent fashion for antimatter gave up the oportunity to re-equip the Tytian harvester fleet surface to subsurface missiles with 'high yield' conventional warheads,) there is a large build-up of Tytian Fish at our distribution point, 'Bondly Warehouse', in the Yank system, in the Outer Ulian Periphery.

There are various reasons for buying this quality merchandise: It has a higher base price than the rubbishy worm-infested 'booker steaks' that seem so popular. We have it on good authority that not only do they not even wash whatever goes to produce 'steaks', much of it would not even qualify as 'cattle'. Honestly, I had some once that I'm sure had a piece of mandible in it.

It is untouched by human hands. This seems to be a selling point, and we can understand why. Horrible, whiney creatures.

It has been irradiated at totally safe-for-consumption levels, for healthy eating and a longer shelf-life. For your reassurance this irradiation was carried out on the entire ocean, several major land masses and urban centres, and a couple of suspicious looking orbital bodies. Any reputable physicist will tell you, more than ten half-lives is completely safe.

In relation to the self-declared 'trade' affiliations: Not purchasing stocks of this valued trade commodity will be valid grounds for war. We've had some captured lawyers interrogated over the matter, and after 'due process' >; they are unanimous in their view that this legal stance is at least as valid as anything the GTT ever came up with, and anyway, if we cant outfight the Mohache we might as well commit racial suicide.

So, buy the stuff. I have to shift another 10K MU's after mid week.

Mok, USN



***** The Funnies *****

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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.29  [Recruit]




***** Inter Kang Galactic Sub Space Pain Filled Torture Static *****


*** Treasure Hunted ***

Overlord Kang has heard that the so-called Mohache treasure ‘hunt’ has claimed it’s first victims this week, as some funny chumster has been planting false prize caches containing biological weapons primed to go off in their faces when opened.

Given the terrorist Kanji is dead, and his corpse might or might not be still in the clutches of creepy-corpse-fondlers the FET, Kang is bereft of his usual suspect for these sorts of cheerful atrocities. So Kang will dig deep into his Bucket Of Blame and point his tentacle of accusation at…

THE WIMBLES!


*** Cluster News ***

Kang understands there may have been more altercations in the Cluster Periphery, but sadly Kang has no more details to report on than this. Kang offers no apologies to you, meatsack.


*** Royal Baby? ***

The Empire Of Humanity is reportedly ‘excited’ this week as there are unconfirmed rumours that Emperor Lysander may be about to have an heir, and the Empress may be, what is it you meatsacks get when you replicate? Pregnored? Kang cares not for your feeble bag of meat reproduction, nor your mewling younglings. Kang is certain of one thing though, THE NEW BOSS WILL BE JUST LIKE THE OLD BOSS!


*** Reporters Jettisoned From Airlock ***

There are a raft of openings at the SSS Headquarters this week, as Overlord Kang has had to fire a number of staff members for their failure to procure much NEWS for you this week.

Kang responds angrily to rumours that he killed the reporters and threw them out the nearest airlock. Kang assures you they were all alive and kicking when Kang cycled the doors and jettisoned their worthless carcasses.


***** Periphery Classifieds *****


*** Ships For Sale ***

The pitiful meatsacks known to Kang only as PITIFUL MEATSACKS but known to others as the Mohache, are selling PITIFUL SHIPS. You should contact them. And then contact Kang. And Kang will stab you in the face with his TABLE!

It is like being stabbed in the face by any standard pointed object, only with EXTRA BLUDGEONING!


*** Market News ***

The disease-ridden market of Tranquility Gate has, Kang understands, a plethora of useless new junk for sale. Kang has conducted a survey, and Kang finds it impossible to murder innocents with ‘EMF Dampening’. Kang suggests the Starbase governor should get his act together.


*** Trading Company Re-Opened ***

Kang understands that the worthless meatsack known as ‘Gaijin’ has re-opened his pathetic trading company in the hope that Kang will not come round to his place and beat him to death with some EMF Dampening.

KANG WILL NOT BE DISTRACTED FROM HIS GOAL!

Kang has lost his pencil.

Traders. Pah. Kang hates the lot of you.


*** More Market News ***

Kourdda Gentlebeings,

I am DISGUSTED to announce that Foundation (92099) on Keaop in the Harlong (240) system now offers full maintenance and recreation AND GHASTLY MURDER services. It is an ideal PAIN FILLED location to repair your ship and offer some relaxation AND STABBING to your crew whilst dealing with civilian VICTIM traders.

We have thousands of patches in stock at a very reasonable $50 patch price at our maintenance facilities! Everyone is welcome to dock AND BECOME SLAVES and make use of our facilities.

Bring trade goods and sell at the competitive market. Got something we are not buying there already? STAB YOURSELF IN THE FACE WITH IT, hen deliver a sample and it will be on the market shortly thereafter! BUT YOU WILL BE DEAD SO YOU WON’T CARE And don't go home empty handed, take some of the fine Keaop Lumber with you at an affordable $1.2/mu (a very reasonable x12 source value!) LUMBER IS GOOD FOR MAKING STABBING IMPLIMENTS!

As of tomorrow. we will also be putting in place a defensive platform with everyone on defend. AND ENEMY! YOU WILL ALL DIE! Admittedly only friends of the Mohache will really benefit from this but its pretty easy to be friends as we are desirous of friendship with everyone (pretty much). THE FLAGRITZ ARE ALSO FRIENDLY WITH EVERYBODY! ONCE YOU HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED!

One word of caution: Harlong has dangerous asteroid belts in rings 14 and 15 so please avoid these (perhaps turn on your navigational hazard avoidance programme).

Happy travels AND MAY YOU ALL DIE IN HORRIBLE FIREY DEATH! :)

Scribbles (NOT EDITED BY KANG AT ALL!)



***** From The Blog Of Meatsack Void *****


Careful to express a caring look, and maintaining a warm tone the Investigating Officer asked "So...Miss Sanders...I want you to take your time and describe to me what happened"

"Well Sir, they were there when I returned from work, they said they had my Lysander and Vega, and then showed me a holoclip of them – forced'em to say hello they did. They said I'd not see my children again if I didn't do what I was told. That's when they...they...cut off my finger, and put that...that thing on instead. They told me to go work as normal, told me which cabinet to access, and knew exactly where the data pad would be. Told me to access the data pad and to then run the....finger...over across it...." Tears and a look of panic "Oh True One bless me - I don't think I'm insured for biogenetic surgery" More tears "...when will I see my children again?!"

"Miss Sanders....may I call you Dotty? Yes? Hmmm well I can reassure you that Lysander and Vega are fine, though after such a.....torrid...experience they are receiving the utmost care. Given the operation these terrorists appear to have performed on yourself we feel duty bound to ensure they are given a full medical check-up – at the cost of the agency of course. They will be asked a few questions, but we have specialist people trained with children. As for your finger, rest assured, the agency looks after its staff....Now you said 'they' - how many were there, and could you describe them?"

Tears of relief. "Two sir, both human, both wore black suits....much like any man in the business quarter. They had off-world accents, but sorry to say I couldn't place them. Both were about your height, though one was a bit taller. One had blue eyes – he smiled a lot, and did most of the talking – seemed to laugh at his own jokes a lot. The other one did the operation, he didn't really say too much but he had green eyes that kind of stared through me"

Some time late the Investigating Officer left the room and convened with the Observer.

"You think she's telling the truth?" The Observer asked

"Almost definitely. Still...not worth taking the risk – this is a serious breach of security. Granted she was under duress, but if everyone put their own interests ahead of the Empires then we will just fast track ourselves towards anarchy. Submit all three for a mindscrape, she should then be sent to penal colony...the boys can go to the Imperial Orphans Cadet Academy.....tell me about the finger"

"From the fragments that were left of the artificial finger on her hand, it seems like a bio-engineered device. The interesting thing is that it looks like there is altered DNA that has been utilised as a memory device. Not quite sure how they've managed to actually extract the data into that memory, but there's obviously some pretty top end stuff going on here."

The Observer continued "From what she's said, when she returned home they removed the finger - apparently on this occasion it was painless. However she recalls being given an injection shortly afterwards, but does recall...."Cold Eyes" as she called him, taking the finger putting it in some device or other. He 'nodded to "Smiler"' who then thanked her for her co-operation, apologised that it had - she quotes him as saying 'not been the nicest of circumstances to meet' and promised she would be reunited her with her children imminently. Blood samples indicate that she was heavily drugged, so it was only when she did not report for work the next day that the alert was raised. She was found in her apartment still unconscious. Luckily for her, it seems that whoever had done the operation on the finger was a pretty decent surgeon"

"....anyhow, initial talks with the children suggest they were taken from the home – their description implies they were teleported directly out. We'd not been able to find any corresponding signatures, but upon an audit, sensor logs show a time discrepancy so we suspect systems were hacked at the point of teleportation. A review is underway, and we've been looking at some third party sensor scans to see if they reveal anything, but it looks like we've got nothing to work from that angle"

The Investigator frowned "They're not going to like this. Seems we've got a few routines we need to work on. Keep me informed of any more developments"

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.30  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


 
News
Is open for business...
 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Wimbles Crisis Solved ***

The Wimble Crisis of 217 has come to an end with the human Baron making way to the wimble Grandfather Paden Mastaak. Celebrations were held in Wimbledon upon the news with crack teams of Wimble security staff guarding all the pies.

It’s unclear how long the Wimbles will enjoy this new era of peace and self-determination.

Vocal Wimble Dinasha, one of Paden’s early backers, has chosen this precarious moment to bait Dewiek, Flagritz and humans who were initially disposed to be friendly to the new administration. Whilst the Wimbles' history with the former-slave-loving Flagritz could be understood, their animosity towards the Dewiek and humans was more mysterious. One insider alluded to a rise in the number of cases of foot-and-mouth across the herd as being a likely cause.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Storm in a Teacup *** Yahn Bares All * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door ***

The stargates are closed! Reports from multiple sources indicate at least three of the stargates, all within Dewiek controlled systems, have been closed.

Two different sources have indicated that the TCA have been spotted recently in a number of systems and may be behind this turn of events. A scan sent to the SSS indicated eight TCA ships were recently spotted first in the Faery system and later near the Kasmer stargate.

Another source, suspiciously put the blame on the ARC, suggesting the ARC and DEN were working together because they “need to trap [the TCA] and try and finish them off after the DEN bodged their operation to protect the ARC while they incinerated the MEK homeworld, which ended up with several ARC ships being destroyed and the job only being half done."

However, with no public statement from the Dewiek themselves, its hard to know whether these rumours are reliable.

Lord Igor of the Dominion and Erasmus Andersen of the Garcia Family both offered public apologies at the delay in meeting their trade commitments because of the recent closures. The not-so-subtle subtext being that someone will pay with blood for this interference in their business. Or at least with a stealthy price rise.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Wimble Civil Strife * Who Sniffs the Sniffers? * Largin’ It * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Videtis quantum scelus contra rem publicam vobis nuntiatum sit? ***

The Flagritz Empire is no more! The Flagritz Republic is reborn! Quick on the heel of the collapse of the Empire, the Fessin caste declared a new era of foreign and economic policy with a rapid withdrawal behind the Black Gate.

The new ecologically-friendly Prime Minister Kayxaer, asked for patience as “economic” reforms were undertaken. It remains to be seen whether there will be any price to pay for the dramatic changes being made by the reclusive Flagritzi or whether it will all be sunshine and rainbows going forward.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Large at Large * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Bravo for Freedom ***

Naplian Forces have attacked three human pirate outposts in the Morroglyph system. A spokesperson for Naplia HQ told the press that the plucky duct-tape loving free people would continue their war against slavers and pirates in their home periphery.

One salty Naplian libertarian told the SSS, “The people of the Naplian Home Periphery are sick and tired of human criminals coming here just because their homeworld is an overcrowded hell. It’s time for them to go back home.”

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Igor of Fang and Horns * Admiral Loves Dick Turpin * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

.What is It?
..a wOrmhOle?.
…No.. worse..
….the KANG singularity!…
…..It pulls us IN…..
……lOOks sO familiar……
…….yet so strange…….
……..what is……..
………that?……..

*** Flagritz Liberalise Economy ***

In good news for all the galaxy the Flagritzi have vowed to liberate all slaves across their Empire. Furthermore, the hectapods have given up eating other sentient species; taking up a strict diet of veganism and soy chai lattes. Sales of turtle neck sweaters and Forbidden Fruit laptops have skyrocketed.

The news was cautiously welcomed by the benevolent Felini Tyranny who looked forward to reducing the War phase of their daily Nap-Lick-Nap-War-Nap-Eat-Sleep cycle to a perfunctory forty winks.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Baron Womble * A Short History of the DPP * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Empire Strikes: Solo ***

A massive fleet of some 1600 warships, including large numbers of super-heavy capital 300 and 400 hullers, attacked the DEN in the Solo system, catching them with their metaphorical pants down. The DEN gate platform and some two hundred DEN freighters were subject to antimatter missiles amongst other high tech ordinance.

Jack the lad, Viceroy of the Empire, claimed a victory for freedom and the Imperial (right of) way leaving the sullen Dewiek unusually unresponsive.

With DOM platforms firing on CIA ships, will the IMP now demand the DOM add them to the Do Not Fire lists as well? And what exactly is the nature of the DOM and DEN alliance in light of the sustained attack from the Empire? And will the DEN’s alien friends stand idly by as the Empire fleet camps in the vital gate system of Solo? How will the DEN retaliate for this action or are they ready to roll over and have their bellies rubbed?

All this remains unknown. All that is certain is the “feel good” factor across the DTR has increased, with citizens reassured that for some time yet, they may continue in their slumber with the easy assurance that their number is not coming up anytime soon.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * New BHD Guy * DOM Statement * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** To Ur Is Dewiek ***

Dewiek forces had a hefty smackdown against the mysterious living ships known as the T’Cath (TCA). Seven adult TCA 400 hull capital ships, each firing eight of their notorious plasma cannons, were killed by a DEN and DOM fleet of some 700 ships.

Of the minimal losses suffered by the DEN / DOM, one-eyed Magnus and Nevets Motnhap of the FEL were amongst the dead.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Caribbean Congo Continues * Ur Witness Report * * Hive Briefing * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** The Long Quiet Season ***

Listen…
There’s no sound of anger or of annoyance,
There’re neither cruisers racing on the jump lanes
Nor there jump lanes for them to race on,
There’re neither monks chanting on the battlegrounds
Nor bells calling us to the True One.
There’s neither the lightning cracking of the sky
Nor the persistent Naplians pattering on my roof.
There’s no Dewiek arm in arm to admire the magnificent view
There’re no war drums to feed Human ears
Nor Hive sirens to steal the boredom away
There’s no unfamiliar wing creeping underneath the Falconian sun
Nor floods to enshroud the Aquaphid grounds
The land lies lonely out here
On this lazy summer’s day
There’s no pollution to poison the airs of Inversion
Nor forests to give them life
All I hear is the hushing sound of the wind
Assisting the sand to fall into beautiful undulations.

Whilst we’ve been away: * Operation Giantslayer * Naplian Liberation * Back in the DTTR * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Falconians Saved ***

The Imperials have cunningly saved the Falconian Republic from being consumed by the Dewiek Elder Nation and at no small cost to the DEN either. Whilst the new pro tem Consul crowed about the “victory”, all former FCN systems besides Acropolis have been taken over by the two warring Empires - Human and Flagritz.

Was it all worth it? For the IMP / GTT it clearly was, for the movement of a few hundred thousand troops is surely nothing to the cost they endured trying to and failing to knock the DEN out of Solo after the fact. The FCN now plucked off most of their navy and wider assets are a tiny nothing of their former self. The DEN may have resorted to some dirty namecalling but can the costs endured to save an enfeebled FCN have really been worth it? Time will tell.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * INDignation * FELicitous Caribbean * Nah Plan for Naplia * Mercs Trouble DEN * &etc

 

Free Ship when you sign-up
Complete missions for in game rewards
Control everything, up to an entire empire
Dedicated human moderators
Player and Moderator driven plotlines
Discover new worlds to explore, exploit & colonise
Over 20 years of content development
Persistent Browser-Based Game (PBBG)

I’ve played on and off for approximately 10 years, over a 20 year spell. After some interesting debate on the in-game forum, I did wonder what, exactly, has kept drawing me back to the game, when for so many others I’ve generally lost interest after a few months.

Ultimately, I think it is a combination of automation (that allows the game to handle thousands of positions to interact on a daily basis) coupled with Special Actions (that allow the story arc to develop in a way that could not be catered for by a set of predefined list of available orders).
-Zigic