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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.31
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***** Inter Galactic Glorious Destruction News *****
*** Cluster In Flames ***
More havoc has been unleashed in the Cluster Periphery as glorious Flagritz forces continue to engage the vile Confederacy. Overlord Kang has seen reports of numerous violent battles across the Crossley system, as the forces of the Flagritz, Dewiek, Hive and Falconians come together to fight the xenophobic and unpleasantly squishy human meatsacks.
Kang was in the process of congealing the news down into bite-sized chunks for Kang’s hungry readers, but Kang has discovered that the High Lord of the Dewiek has provided a summary of this weeks events that Kang does not entirely disapprove of.
KANG WILL ALLOW HIM TO SPEAK TO YOU NOW!
Greeting all
I thought it would be a good idea to shed some light on the events which as been happening in and around the Crossley wormhole for the last week or so.
As you know tension and skirmishes between the Nation and Confederacy for the last few months have been getting hotter. Both sides will blame each other as is normal. Whilst this is been happening the Confederacy as been skirmishing with the FLZ so we decided to work together to teach the red necks a lesson.
However with the over reaction(over 300 ships) which were sent to corewards against the nations 20 odd we thought things were getting out of hand. So if the confederacy wanted to make things interesting we will humour them, but for something worth while.
So the nation decided to take the crossly wormhole and hold it whilst the Empire of the Race follows it own agenda in the Cluster, whilst aiding the nation if the confederacy sends a large relief force through. This was also a tester to see how the confederacy would react and how important they judge some back water systems in the cluster.
We both tried counter claiming and due to a technical oversight this was countered by the confederacy recently. The Dewiek in charge of this operation is doing rather well in the fighting pits atm and might even survive.
The Nation proceeded with its task and destroyed the BHD platform and some warships in D6, the quad of the wormhole. A interesting thing happened in that the BHD dropped it allied status with the CNF which meant our targeting computers could not lock on to the fleeing BHD ships. A minor inconvenience but stage one was completed.
Intel suggested that the 1000 hull platform in orbit of the wormhole was unarmed and defended by 1000 human marines.
Orders not to target the platform were placed and a assault force was assemble to try and capture this prize.
The Nation entered orbit and destroy all warships in orbit and about 20 or freighters the rest fled.
After a few days of securing the orbit the strike force attempted to board the platform and found the marines gone. We presume teleported out. The platform was expanded and shielding added. Weapons were kindly provided by a CNF outpost with low security.
However the weapon load was not fully installed when over 400 confederate and allied ships came through the wormhole firing anti matter missiles about at random. The nations 100 odd ships received the brunt of the attack though casualties were heavy and heavy damaged suffered by most. The nation reinforced with ships from the quad and the Empire of the race good to there word reinforced as well and the stage was set for a rather large sustained battle.
During this time the nation changed its relation with the CNF which allowed missile and torpedo ships to move out of orbit and resupply.
The nations others ships contained fighting whilst adding the FLZ to defend lists. The confederacy seemed this act was dishonourable but we disagreed.
They reacted by placing the Nation on the system enemy lists and increased the scale of the conflict by setting the relation to hostile. Which had the knock on effect of getting a FET freighter destroyed in the Valhalla stargate. The nation as offered compensation but warned all confederacy and there allies that transit might be unsafe and do so at there own risk. No compensation will be forthcoming.
The battle as been going on for over a week with casualties heavy on both sides.
A twist happened recently when the republics fleet entered the orbit of the London wormhole and destroyed the Empires shipping there and both platforms amounting to 8000 hulls. They used AM missiles in this stunning victory which combined with the confederacy use of them has closed the London-Crossley wormhole. How long for is not know at this time.
How things stand atm is the confederate fleet is in the orbit of the wormhole which is now closed, fighting the platform and the Nations/empire of the races ships there whilst a large Fleet comprising of DEN,FLZ,FCN and HEX have attacked and destroyed all shipping in the D6 quad.With more on route to join the hunt.
Including two of the alien construction monsters, this are well know sponges to fire and is a very good achievement for us.
The confederacy is in a bit of a quandary at the moment.
The wormhole is closed to them and the nation controls the Valhalla stargate, the only other way into the cluster is via Caribbean wormhole which leads to the Inner Empire. Many weeks away from Darkfold.
The DTR have a very large fleet ready for action in the London wormhole. In the middle of darkfold and could in theory strike at the confederacy who they see as betrayers when they broke the alliance and joined the Imperials in the attacking the republic.
The republic apparently also have a fleet in the cluster which could support the attack on the wormhole crossly side.
The Confederacy recently humiliated the FEL and removed several systems from the in the cluster, so they could rise up and gain the revenge.
The supreme Commander has disappeared so the confederacy is in turmoil with a clear leader yet to be seen.
In light of this the Nation as offered to spare the Confederacy further destruction, all this will cost is a number of claiming starbases in the cluster with support O/Ps and platforms.Which we will pay a nominal fee for and if needed repatriate there troops stationed there.
I feel this is fair and honourable conclusion, again this depends on how much they value the systems in the cluster over Darkfold.
For there sakes I hope they get the priorities right.
If not rejoice in combat and destruction of your enemies.
*** The Blitz Of London ***
Kang has more details regarding the tedious Detinus Republic’s sortie into the London system. Clearly having sniffed that their IMP/GTT/CNF enemies had sent the lions share of their fleet through the wormhole to Crossley, they decided to strike like the fleshy meatsack cowards they are at a place of weakness amongst their enemies.
We Flagritz have a word for this sort of operation, When The Tentacle Plunges Into The Soft Spot.
Kang can now report on the bloodshed inflicted. Kang enjoys the shedding of blood.
8000 hulls worth of vile Confederacy defensive platforms were wiped out in a blaze of anti-matter, as the tedious DTR blasted off what Kang understands to have been over 4000 rounds of AM warheads.
Kang is impressed at the profligacy of this action, and at the size of explosion this creates. 14 IMP warships were also destroyed, along with 3 Confederate ships. Detinus captains were reported to be disappointed that they were unable to catch more of their enemies, suspecting that most had departed through the wormhole just minutes before their fleet arrived.
Kang is less impressed that the tedious DTR lost only 3 small ships in this action. Kang hoped there would be more kills on both sides.
*** Gloriously Massive Explosions As Expensive Things Go Boom ***
Kang has particularly enjoyed the sight of the destruction of two of the rarest and largest vessels in the whole Peripheries this week, with the FLZ/DEN/FCN/HEX fleet managing to gang up on these two:
CNF Kraken (41072) - Ship
Alien Construct Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
Armour: 47.4 Scints: 8.8 Shields: 0(0.0)
Hull Damage: 37.3%
Targeted by HEX OMEGA WRAITH (94137) - 6358 [20370] Damage
Targeted by FLZ RK-Executioner (84154) - 17909 [52990] Damage
Targeted by FLZ XG Jagged Claw (862) - 2614 [3040] Damage
Targeted by FLZ RK-Dagger (40511) - 19567 [53690] Damage
Targeted by FLZ RK-Crusade Watch (87340) - 20428 [53410] Damage
Targeted by DEN DWA-T-D (15666) - 19015 [26600] Damage
Targeted by DEN GH-T-A (11136) - 25302 [36400] Damage
Targeted by DEN W4 - Primary Schwerpunkt (41076) - 2653 [7575] Damage
Targeted by DEN W1 - Diabolical Strength (30980) - 6023 [11520] Damage
Destroyed FCN OM Graat (78766) - 5334 [16940] Damage
Destroyed FCN OM Voiid (91498) - 7717 [21910] Damage
Targeted by HEX OMEGA WRAITH (9093) - 3032 [4000] Damage
Targeted by FLZ PII Feller (49194) - 1179 [1400] Damage
Attacking FLZ PII Feller (49194) - 7547 [14960] Damage
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris
CNF Rukh (77585) - Ship
Alien Construct Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
Armour: 95.2 Scints: 14.9 Shields: 0(0.0)
Hull Damage: 12.5%
Targeted by FLZ XO Screaming Fury (1592) - 1705 [5440] Damage
Targeted by FLZ XO Righteous Red Splatter (46273) - 2181 [5760] Damage
Targeted by FLZ Lu'cy (50478) - 1816 [3660] Damage
Targeted by FLZ XO Red Harvest II (71693) - 1874 [5760] Damage
Targeted by FLZ XO Rapturous Slaughter (30731) - 2311 [6400] Damage
Targeted by DEN W1 - Countered Folly (11480) - 3576 [9600] Damage
Targeted by DEN DWA1-T-J (78912) - 15355 [25200] Damage
Destroyed FCN OM Hyyat (52026) - 2489 [14420] Damage
Targeted by FCN OMC Maxi Mag (26452) - 2798 [12930] Damage
Attacking FLZ XO Screaming Fury (1592) - 13863 [18745] Damage
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris
For Kang’s more ignorant readers, Kang will provide MORE INFORMATION DIRECTLY INTO YOUR BRAINS!
These two 400 hulled Alien Construct ships used to be part of the CIA’s most secretive black ops fleet, salvaged from some unknown world, they are thought to be similar in construction to ARC/TCA vessels, equipped with massively powerful shields, engines, and weapon systems.
As such they were irreplaceably valuable, and it amuses Kang no end to watch them break apart into tiny little pieces.
Will there be salvage? Kang does not know. Perhaps they can be rebuilt and blown up again? Kang hopes so.
*** Assassination Is Less Efficient Than Stabbing Your Enemy In The Face With Your Tentacle ***
There are rumours of more assassinations being carried out at a Detinus Starbase.
Kang hopes it is true.
And that gruesome poison was used.
*** Ally Kills Ally And Kang Applauds ***
Kang has been amused by the sight of Hexamon vessels inadvertently targeting friendly Falconian vessels during the battle for Delta Six in Crossley this week.
Kang understands this was not intentional, and the Hexamon were responding to commands to support a Flagritz warship that had not properly parsed the fact that the Falconians were currently friendly. This is as it should be, lesser races should always unthinkingly obey every order given to them by a Flagritzi. And Kang applauds the Hexamon for their obedience.
*** Kanji News ***
Kang has received the following news clipping from the disgusting corpse-botherers known as the FET, regarding their continued bothering of the corpse of the terrorist Kanji.
This seems to confirm that the Disgusting Corpse-Bothering FET have indeed purchased the dead body of Kanji for purposes that quite frankly TURN KANG’S STOMACHS!
And Kang is made of stern stuff. Oh yes. Overlords have to be.
KANG WILL NOW ALLOW THE DISGUSTING FET TO SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!
Frontier Express Times Vol. Two, 213.27.5
An occasional publication published occasionally
"All the news that's fit to print! (Or maybe not!)"
This is Rhett Rover, your roving reporter, reporting from FET Free Coalition in Yank.
It has been learned that the FET are now in possession of the body of Kanji, the Galaxy’s most renown and malicious terrorist and all-around badguy!
As you may recall, Kanji started his reign of terror nearly three years ago, when as the FET Director of Defense, he betrayed the FET. At that time, he kidnapped the other three FET board directors (Zuvoro Norozov, Roy Thompson, & Pahl Kantner) and demanded an exorbitant ransom of stellars, tech, ships, and bases. When said ransom was emphatically denied, Kanji began a 3-week campaign of torture of the three captives, using drugs, assorted instruments of punishment & twice daily beatings. The exact details have never been revealed, but suffice to say that the captives have never been the same since.
Then Thompson was able to escape by bribing his guards. (When Kanji found this out, they were “paid” a second time.) Two days later, Norozov attempted an escape thru a ship’s sewer line hookup but was caught deep in it by Kanji. In a wild rage, Kanji exacted more depravity by chopping off Norozov’s right hand & gouging out one eye. Then inexplicably, apparently tiring of the game, Kanji dumped Norozov & Kantner in a neutral port in Yank.
After that, Kanji spent the rest of his life terrorizing the denizens of the Peripheries. He truly loved humiliating and tormenting the Mohache & Wimbles, but he never forgot his “old buddies” in the FET. Nuff Said!!
Now then, a few weeks back, it was reported on the open wavebands by one Lazarus Dredge, the supposedly new RIP kingpin, that he had allegedly killed Kanji in a dispute. (Subject of said dispute is unknown, perhaps another poor victim or a piece of tail…). Mr. Dredge at that time said that he would soon be putting Kanji’s body on display “somewhere” for the edification of the viewing public. Such display never occurred.
This brings back to the opening lines of my reportage. (Hang in there, friends; the denouement is at hand…)
Instead of following through with his public display of Kanji’s body, Dredge negotiated with the FET for the ransom of the “trophy”. A settlement of an undisclosed amount of stellars and trade goods was recently arrived at. As a result, on 213.31.5 Kantner took possession of Kanji’s body. Exactly what the FET intentions for the corpse are is unknown at this time. However, it has long been known that Norozov wanted Kanji’s head on his wall somewhere. And rumor has it that Kantner too wants a trophy; in his case, a certain “part “ of Kanji is likely to end up in a pickling jar.
When (& if) I get more details, I will happily report such to my loyal public. Meantime, stay tuna’d!
This is Rhett Rover, your roving reporter, signing off!
This news item has been brought to you by PegLeg Pete's Poker & Pizza Parlor -- Nuevo San Francisco's Finest Joint!
'When the chips are down, try our Buffalo Chip Pizza!"
*** Wormhole Unstable Like Meatsack Balanced On Spike ***
As keen eyed readers may have already spotted, Kang understands the Crossley to London wormhole is currently ‘unstable’.
Kang is uncertain as to what exactly this means, but Kang sincerely hopes this means any vessels attempting to transit the wormhole will be torn apart into meatsack-juice soaked confetti.
*** Flagritz Statement From FUN News ***
With the CNF closing the trade route into New Sussex the Empire of the race ordered its fleets to not only reopen this trade route but to seek to smash the CNF war machine that likes so much to target unharmed ships of the Empire.
Other ships were send to Halo to defend the HEX who also had unharmed ships attacked within that area. After the CNF fleet was found over half of it was destroyed
While in New Sussex the CNF platforms were removed and a few BHD/CNF outposts were taken.
CNF Tartarus Control (89679) - Platform
BLOWN UP!
The order then came expand the fighting across the Cluster to bring the CNF to battle.
The Fleet expanded the fighting into the Giant system taking CNF outposts and clearing the platforms and any ships. After that the base came under fire for a number of days. When the CNF counter attacked a fleet of CNF ships jumped into this system and a battle lasting days took place, which lasted days but in the end all CNF ships were destroyed.
The Empire also had news of something hidden deep within a system and a fleet of ships were send to claim this. The fighting was long and hard but in the end the platforms were cleared and the Empire had found what was hidden, a wormhole. A single ship slipped in to an unknown system called Genesis (134) where the Empire of the Race attacked not only a CNF outpost but also
Location:
Genesis (134) - {Gamma,13} - orbit of Bethlehem (409)
------------------------FLZ SHIP XO Deathbringer (3538)-------------------------
Shields are down
Scint Coverage: 22.5
Armour protection: 100
ENEMY TARGETS SUPPORT TARGETS DEFEND TARGETS
Civilian Sector (18347) None None
Targeting CIV Civilian Sector (18347):
Position is on our enemy list.
Attacking CIV Civilian Sector (18347)
-------------------------------------
Round 1: 20 Nova Cannons
- 20 hits - 1464 [1600] damage - 100%
Round 2: 20 Nova Cannons
- 20 hits - 1448 [1600] damage - 100%
Round 3: 20 Nova Cannons
- 20 hits - 1444 [1600] damage - 100%
Round 4: 20 Nova Cannons
- 20 hits - 1461 [1600] damage - 100%
Post Battle Summary
-------------------
Combat stress caused 0.5% integrity loss.
Ship hulls are undamaged
The Empire also attacked Cluster targets within the Skye system (a platform) and Espionage (outpost) system
Then the CNF fleet supported by the IMPs and BHD looked to break into the Cluster and the call to arms came in
A major space battle is ongoing in the Crossley wormhole
*** New Sussex – New Owners ***
The Falconians are attempting to claim the New Sussex system for the Flagritz.
Kang will say this about the vile Confederacy, the are so vile they seem to have united many old enemies in the desire to wipe them out.
CONGRATULATIONS VILE CONFEDERACY! KANG DECLARES YOU TO BE ‘MOST VILE’!
Kang is only kidding, all human meatsacks are most vile to him.
*** HLQ Get Religion Like Slaves ‘Get’ Corrective Measures ***
Kang has heard that not one but three House LiQuan starbases have flipped to join the Brotherhood.
Have the Meklan-infested LiQuan realised the error of their ways and embraced religion? Does this mean other HLQ assets will be joining these weird chanting meatsacks? Where is Kang’s scourge? And why can’t he hear the lamentation of his enemies?
Kang has many questions, and few good answers.
*** Tedious Detinus Lose Hiport ***
Careless tedious Detinus bean-counters are this week lamenting the loss of their Hiport labelled ‘K Street’ in the Pegasus system, when whinging Imperial meatsacks found it and blew it to pieces.
Kang has had to overlay images of brutal mass slaughter onto this footage for his own amusement and delight.
***** Psychic Kang’s Horoscope Of Monthly DELIGHT *****
Aries: The reason for your failure is that you are not hitting your head against it hard enough.
Taurus: It takes a real man to take responsibility for your failures this week. Fortunately you can blame that new guy in cubicle three.
Gemini: You will continue to grow as a person this week, at the expense of those you consume.
Cancer: Literally nothing interesting will happen to you this week, you boring loser.
Leo: This will have been a bad week to commit your prized alien flagships to battle, but try not to weep, your loss is somebody else's amusing anecdote.
Virgo: Turns out it's not your relationship with your parents that has been eating you up inside, but instead a three foot long parasite lodged within your chest cavity. Kang recommends fewer drunken nights out at Hive bars.
Libra: Every day is a beautiful gift from powers greater than you. Try to reflect on this as the chains of slavery weigh you down.
Scorpio: Beware of things that are orange, as Kang has been hiding micro-explosives in common supermarket fruits this week.
Sagittarius: Juggling three young children isn't easy. So Kang recommends feeding one to the others and letting only the strongest survive.
Capricorn: Tuesday will be a good day to fill your boots with gasoline and trip the light fantastic.
Aquarius: I hate you all.
Pisces: You will be mistaken for a fish this week, and brutally murdered. Just kidding. They won't think you're a fish.
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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.32
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***** Inter Galactic Face Stabbing News *****
*** Non-Humans Unite – Cluster In Flames ***
Overlord Kang understands that various non-human affiliations appear to have, if not allied themselves, but at least brought themselves together to give the vile and alien-hating Confederacy a kicking.
There are reports of BEAUTIFUL violence breaking out all across the Cluster Periphery, as Dewiek and Flagritz forces begin operations against fleshy human meatsacks, with rumours that the Falconians and maybe even the Hexamon may be involved too. But Kang underlines, these are just rumours, Kang has seen the Falconians and Hexamon in battle, and Kang would not rate them.
Kang does not particularly rate the Dewiek or Flagritz either.
Kang is an equal opportunities hater of you all.
Kang is not surprised that the Catnip Munching Surrender Kittens have so far failed to get involved, though given their recent abject humiliation at the hands of the vile Confederacy when they were forced to hand over critical system claims, perhaps they too will rise up. Or perhaps not. KANG DOES NOT SEE THE FUTURE!
But Kang does see YOUR future.
Kang has brought extra stakes.
*** New Sussex Seized? ***
Glorious Flagritz forces have begun operations to capture the New Sussex system from the fleshy human meatsacks, with a counter claim going in against the puny earth-things. The inhabitans of New Sussex REJOICE at the thought of living as part of the Flagritz Empire.
YOU WOULD REJOICE TOO!
If your choice was rejoice or death.
CAKE IS NOT AN OPTION!
*** Giant And Nexus Flare ***
Reports of battles in the Giant and Nexus system have been received, although Kang’s news-room is too busy huddling under their desks to find out more details. KANG IS DISAPPOINTED!
But Kang understands lives have been lost. So Kang is not too disappointed.
*** Crossley ***
The critical wormhole terminus in the Crossley system has been captured by the Dewiek, presumably as some part of a plan to strangle the Confederate presence in the Cluster Periphery. Or perhaps just for fun. Kang has difficulty telling with these Dewiek sometimes.
*** Dewiek Report On Hostilities ***
Today a major attack on the nation was initiated by the confederacy at the Crossley wormhole with Imperial ship joining in, despite promises they would not be getting involved.
The confederacy true to form attacked the unarmed merchant ships who had just delivered to the platform a day earlier destroying around 20, before the 100 or so ships of the nation stationed at the wormhole could draw fire from the 500 or so enemy ships there.
Around 25 or so of the nations fighting ships were destroyed holding back the swarm.
Only a few of the confederacy ships were destroyed with many damaged on both sides.
Note must be taken of the heroic efforts of DEN WY-Car-D (31043) who despite taking Hull Damage: 97.5% are still in the fight.
Over a 1000 AM missiles were fired at the nation.
- Folkvar – High Lord Of The Nation.
*** Empire Fleet Dispatched ***
With the news of a combined IMP/GTT fleet appearing in the Crossley system, Kang speculates that this could be the lions share of the main Whining Empire fleet. This makes Kang wonder, have they kicked the Tedious Detinus Republic into abject submission that they can dispatch their uber fleet to the Cluster? Has some sort of secret peace deal been signed amongst these warring factions of Meatbaggery, uh, Kang means Humanity, so that they can deal with the crisis in the Cluster? HAVE THE REPUBLICANS SIMPLY FALLEN ASLEEP?!
Kang hopes to see more violence from everybody soon.
*** Empire Of Humanity Report On Space Battle ***
Anonymous sources are reporting a major battle between the Stellar Empire and the Aliens in the Cluster periphery with major battles in several systems.
Approximately 27 DEN warships died on Friday along with 24 haulers. Warships ranged from 150 - 200 hulls.
On Monday the Flagritz Slave Empire came to the aid of their Dewiek allies. Approximately 34 more DEN warships (mostly in the 200 hull range) exploded along with several more freighters. Apparently FLZ help isn't all it is cracked up to be.
The FLZ would appear to be attempting a "fourth time lucky" approach to relations with the Empire. In their last three wars against humanity they have been removed from the Capellan Periphery x2 and Darkfold x 1 they have decided that getting massacred in the Cluster is the next logical strategic choice.
Sources from the Stellar Empire are reporting losses to be below expectations with only around 5 - 10 ships reported lost by the second day of combat.
*** Not Asleep After All ***
KANG SPOKE TOO SOON!
The Tedious DTR have been in action this week, flattening another Whinging IMP outpost:
> ---------------------------------Battle Summary---------------------------------
>
> IMP Madonna Eta LXXXIV (17208) - Outpost
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 GRAYLING (5566) - 14472 [15412] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 NEW GEORGIA (50338) - 13591 [14962] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 112 AMAZON II (62995) - 19106 [20856] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 112 MAGICIENNE (91765) - 18871 [20350] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 GRUNION (30962) - 18517 [20136] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 MILNE BAY (34640) - 18281 [19686] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 NEW BRITAIN (48165) - 10098 [11023] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 WAHOO (89336) - 17491 [18787] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 SALAMAUA (36908) - 17027 [18337] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 RUNNER (52575) - 16473 [17999] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 PICKEREL (38408) - 19412 [21037] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 TRITON (76620) - 15602 [16648] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 112 EURYALUS II (91205) - 3469 [3520] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 28 ARGONAUT (77575) - 6923 [6972] Damage
Meatsack miners of Madonna Eta LXXXIV, Kang pities you.
*** Bethlehem ***
Kang has received a report from the planet of Bethlehem, where glorious Flagritz forces have bombarded FET and Confederate facilities from orbit. Kang understands civilians have been killed.
Does Overlord Kang care that civilians have been killed?
Answers on back of a postcard please, to SSS Headquarters.
*** Boarding Fails – Officers Executed ***
Overlord Kang has received the following news transmission from the fleshy meatbags known as the Brotherhood. Kang has nothing against the Brotherhood, but Kang would not use them to put out napalm. Kang would also not use Dewiek to put out Napalm. NEVER USE MEATBAGS COVERED IN FLAMMABLE FUR TO PUT OUT FIRES AROUND YOUR DOMICILE! Learn from Kang’s mistakes.
Kang hands you over now to the Brotherhood:
Whilst the Cardinals, Bishops and other dignatories of the Church gathered in quiet seclusion the deceitful Dewiek assaulted a Brotherhood Platform. Once again the jackals of Janth have shown they will stoop to any law in their power grabs.
An order was given for the brave human souls on board to make the aliens pay with the sad mockery of life they live.
Boarding Action for the Control of BHD Rogue Affair (50916)
Round 1: Battle is 14:5 in favour of Defender
Defender held control [100%]
Round 2: Battle is 23:6 in favour of Defender
Defender held control [100%]
Round 3: Battle is 23:4 in favour of Defender
Defender held control [100%]
Round 4: Battle is 66:5 in favour of Defender
Defender held control [100%]
Attacking DEN Boarding Party (17166)
Round 1: 801 Human Crew - 127 [801] damage
778 Human Marines - 268 [1556] damage
56 Human Veteran Crew - 12 [112] damage
101 Human Veteran Marines - 76 [404] damage
Round 2: 801 Human Crew - 153 [801] damage
778 Human Marines - 256 [1556] damage
56 Human Veteran Crew - 20 [112] damage
101 Human Veteran Marines - 52 [404] damage
Round 3: 801 Human Crew - 118 [801] damage
778 Human Marines - 240 [1556] damage
56 Human Veteran Crew - 18 [112] damage
101 Human Veteran Marines - 76 [404] damage
Round 4: 801 Human Crew - 128 [801] damage
778 Human Marines - 236 [1556] damage
56 Human Veteran Crew - 22 [112] damage
101 Human Veteran Marines - 64 [404] damage
Incoming Fire from DEN Boarding Party (17166)
Round 1: 390 Dewiek Marines - 0 [780] damage
Round 2: 286 Dewiek Marines - 0 [572] damage
Round 3: 191 Dewiek Marines - 0 [382] damage
Round 4: 83 Dewiek Marines - 0 [166] damage
Glory to the True One!
Lucien
Herald of the Pope
Overlord Kang is surprised to see fleshy meatsack humans put up such a stiff defence. Usually when Kang attacks them they all die. Dewiek marines? KANG IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!
*** Halo ***
Confederate vessels in the Halo system have intercepted and destroyed a lone Tedious Detinus yacht that was apparently sight-seeing at the time.
All hands were lost in a glorious explosion.
***** Overlord Kang’s Column Of Agony *****
Sometimes Kang is asked what the best way to find hidden cave outposts is. Help us Overlord Kang, they ask, give us your wisdom instead of your sharp pointed objects!
Kang understands some search for hidden outposts with fleets of sensor ships located in orbit, scanning sectors. Kang understands others disembark ground parties to crawl over the ground searching every nook and cranny.
Kang has a simpler solution, heavy orbital bombardment.
Kang reminds you all that caves are prone to collapse.
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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.33
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[Recruit] |
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***** Inter Galactic Meatsackery *****
*** Meatsack Periphery In Flames ***
Combat in the Crossley system has come to an end this week, with the vile Confederacy fleeing the system in the face of continued Dewiek and glorious Flagritz aggression.
Kang has not seen such a display of cowardice since his cleaning lady was ‘accidentally’ exposed to Agent-X. In the process of running away Kang understands maybe as many as 25 CNF/BHD/IMP warships were destroyed, bringing the total number of casualties on both sides to A GREAT MANY!
Kang will once again allow the High Lord of the soft-hearted fuzzy Dewiek to speak of his victory.
“Greetings
The nation is pleased to announce its Victory over the confederacy in and around the Crossly wormhole.
The confederacy fleet is either fleeing to the Inner Confederacy via the recently discovered wormhole or sulking in orbits/starbases. Presumably refitting. The nation rejoices with its friends and allies over a great victory, many a song will be sung and many ales will be consumed in celebration of its wolf packs achievements.
The combat was long, well fought and honour goes to the confederacy for the greats trial in arms, the nation as not its like since the great war.
The nation as rescued some of the confederacy officers and crew. Around 50 officers and 3,500 men. These will be delivered to a base of the confederacy choice, where we hope you will honour them for the brave actions of the last week or so. The nation does not believe in prisoners, better to die in combat than rot in captivity. These have earned their freedom.
In light of this, the Nation as set its relations to neutral for both the CNF and the BHD. We are also setting up a policy with our defensive platforms of adding everyone to the enemy lists. This means the platforms will automatically target those who wish ill to the nation or its allies. The Nation may add Affiliations to the system enemy list as it sees fit. For instance Noctollis and Valhalla are both developing systems so anyone hostile or allied to anyone hostile to the nation will be targeted by the defensive platforms.”
The vile Confederacy still holds its starbases and associated facilities in the Crossley system, while the Dewiek and Flagritz control the wormhole terminus with a large platform understood to be in position. So Kang does not thing this story is quite played out yet. Although conflict throughout the Cluster appears to have died down for the time being.
Is this the end of human domination of the Cluster periphery? Kang certainly hopes so.
Disgusting humans.
*** Meatsacks Stage Daring Meatscape ***
The snivelling worthless earth-things known collectively to the Peripheries as the GTT, but known to Kang as worthless wretches, have staged a daring escape from a tedious DTR prison facility this week.
Kang understands a number of worthless wretch officers were teleported directly out of their cells and hopefully into solid rock where they died instantly.
A fate infinitely preferable to the endless rounds of psychological therapy and learning of homely crafts that tedious DTR prisons are known for.
*** Incompetent Meatsacks Spotted ***
Worthless and incompetent TCA vessels have been spotted in Alpha 10 of the Acropolis system this week, prompting the feathery-meatsack authorities to issue a travel advisory warning travellers of their presence.
Presumably in case yet more TCA ships decide to fall to pieces at the sight of another ship.
Kang understands the following vessels were sighted:
TCA SHIP INVOLVED OBSERVER (93984) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
TCA SHIP CONCEPTIONS IN FRUSTRATIONS (66570) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
TCA SHIP INGENIOUS DEMISE (65972) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
TCA SHIP EBULLIENT CASTRATION (16423) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Kang has nothing further to say on this matter.
*** Vile Meatsacks Change Flags ***
For reasons that escape Kang, the vile Confederacy this week reflagged a number of their bases as FRE, and then after a few days, flagged them back to CNF.
Kang does not even care enough to speculate.
*** Meatsacks Run Into Something Large – Kang Celebrates ***
++++++Telemetry data*****
+ Location: T.Tauri System
+ Planetary Body Delta (Asteroid)
+ Orbit: Stable
+ All System Green
+ Officer Equim Motnahp in command
+ Tour of duty: 2 standard weeks out of Mrrowfel
+ Mission: Bast 1 Classified
++++Bridge Recording++++++
Officer Equim: Helm report in
Helm officer: all in system drives show good to go, the Great mother smiles on us Gold Fang.
Officer Equim: As she should, we have one of the Tyrants Avatars aboard.
*bleep*
Officer Equim: Engineering, is the Jump system operational.
Engineering: indeed gold fang, co-ordinates are inputted awaiting command.
Officer Equim: ok, for the official record, Helm take us out of orbit to the jump ring and you are clear to initiate jump sequence.
++++Bridge Recording Ends++++++
++++++Telemetry data*****
+ T.Tauri System
+ Planetary Body Delta (Asteroid)
+ Leaving Orbit
+ Entering OQ Delta 14
+ Preparing to Jump
+ Jumping *******
+ Clearing Jump window
+ Entering system x***x-x/x++++x+x*x/
++++Impact Detected+++++++
++++Impact Detected+++++++
++++Impact Detected+++++++
++++Impact Detected+++++++
++++Impact Detected+++++++
++++Impact Detected+++++++
*** Meatsacks Once Again Pounded Into Dirt ***
Cheerful IMP miners have once again been blasted into oblivion by DTR raiders, Kang entreats you, continue sending images of large explosions.
IMP Madonna Eta LXXXIV (17208) - Outpost
Targeted by DTR CL 28 GRAYLING (5566) - 11052 [12036] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 GRUNION (30962) - 16648 [18336] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 RUNNER (52575) - 11208 [12262] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 MILNE BAY (34640) - 16186 [17212] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 SALAMAUA (36908) - 12506 [13499] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 PICKEREL (38408) - 15000 [16537] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 112 EURYALUS II (91205) - 3457 [3520] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 NEW BRITAIN (48165) - 7409 [8212] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 TRITON (76620) - 12053 [12824] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 WAHOO (89336) - 14510 [15861] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 112 AMAZON II (62995) - 14973 [15997] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 ARGONAUT (77575) - 5358 [5852] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 NEW GEORGIA (50338) - 7307 [7874] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 112 MAGICIENNE (91765) - 15353 [16300] Damage
***** Periphery Classifieds *****
*** Meatsack Seeks To Give Away Money ***
Kourdda Gentlebeings,
Are your goals being thwarted for the want of stellars?
Are you on the slow track to success because of the limitations of merchandising income?
Do you have a dream and need a kindly sponsor to help achieve them?
Then I, Scribbles, would welcome the opportunity to be your business partner. As farmer general of the Bank of Tranquility I am in a unique position to offer your project the investment it needs. I can be a silent partner or one who you can solicit for advice as needs be.
Funds between $250,000 and $1,000,000 are available for the right business plans. This is not a loan! This is an investment, to be paid out of mutual profits and sharing the risk burden.
If you are interested and want to turn that tortoise into a hare, then drop me a PM. Please explain clearly your plan, when you expect to be making a profit and other pertinent factors and I am almost certain we can come to an arrangement that is mutually beneficial!
Scribbles
*** Mona Luvsitt’s Two Big Ships ***
Greetings,
I have one 200 HH ship for immediate sale.
It's built with mk I Heavy Hulls and mk II Armour plate.
Currently configured as below :
1 Bridge
20 AI Combat Navigator
10 Bunks
50 Combat Engine mkIV
50 Gatling Laser
20 ISR Type 1 Engines
1 Jump Drive
10 Nova Cannon
20 Sensor mkII
20 Targeting Computer mkII
40 Thrust Engine mkIII
I will supply it with a crew of 50.
Delivery point will be in Yank (unless specifically requested elsewhere).
Please send me offers via PM
Thank you.
Mona
*** Mona Luvsitt’s Two Big Ships ***
Greetings,
I have a second 200 NH ship for immediate sale.
It's built with mk II Normal Hulls and mk III Ablative Armour plate.
Currently configured as below :
1 Bridge
2 Cargo Bay
30 Cargo Hold
30 Cryo Pods
25 Gatling Laser
1 Integrity Stabilizer
5 ISR Type 4 Engines
1 Jump Drive
10 Nova Cannon
5 Sensor mkII
53 Thrust Engine mkIII
I will supply it with a crew of 50.
Delivery point will be in Yank (unless specifically requested elsewhere).
Please send me offers via PM.
Thank you.
Mona
*** Markets Closed To Meatsacks ***
DNA markets in Yank and Solo systems will be closed for a short time while major stock review takes place. We hope our customers will continue to use our other markets and hope to reopen above markets shortly where we will be seeking to BRUTALLY SLAUGHTER ALL CUSTOMERS!
*** Meatsacks Hunting ***
Kourdda Gentlebeings,
This weeks clue falls on a thursday as your humble riddlemaster has urgent business tomorrow! So without further ado, an easy clue for the picking!
Men in Black Find Inner Peace
May the prism of knowledge find your teenage bloom!
Scribbles
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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.34
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[Recruit] |
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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.34.5
***** Inter Galactic News *****
*** Message From The Editor ***
There has been fear and terror rejoicing in the Sub Space Static news-room as brutal popular Overlord Kang has agreed to stay on for yet another week as Guest Editor.
For those of you who might be new to the Peripheries, Overlord Kang is a horrifying much loved Flagritz Overlord who barged in here and took over was invited to become Guest Editor to provide more balanced reporting brutal slaughter.
Kang enjoys long walks in the park and brutally subjugating all lesser meatsack races.
*** Cluster Periphery ***
Overlord Kang literally does not care about any living thing in the Cluster Periphery, and wishes you all a slow and unpleasant death.
*** Empire News ***
The Empire of snivelling earth-thing meatsacks has done something this week, but it was not to commit racial suicide, so Kang is disappointed and will waste no more breath on it.
*** Pirates ***
Kang hates pirates.
Kang misses Kanji though.
Kang enjoys atrocities.
*** Tedious Republicans ***
KANG CAN NOT FACE ANY MORE OF THIS! FETCH KANG HIS SCOURGE!
*** Vile Confederacy ***
Popular Flagritz whipping boys, the Confederacy, have completed their impressive running away from superior races this week, demonstrating to all the extreme worthlessness of all earth-things. Kang salutes you with his tertiary orifice, gutless cowards!
*** Cute Animals ***
Make crunchy snacks.
*** News Team Requires Help ***
sos. please.
*** Kastorians Drop Ball ***
Kang has some sympathy for the Kastorian Military Junta, they are brutal, unpleasant and xenophobic, all traits that are much admired within the Flagritz race, however they remain worthless meatsacks, like all the rest of you, and good only for enslaving, or ejecting out of an airlock.
As such Kang will not even bother telling you what they did this week.
Do you feel punished?
GOOD!
Now take your fleshy meatpalms and slam your fingers in the nearest trash compactor.
And try to fall all the way in this time.
Worthless meatsacks.
*** Not dead yet? ***
Kang is impatient. Do not make Kang come over there.
***** OOC Message From The Other Editor *****
Apologies, been away on holiday most of this week. Normal service will be resumed soon.
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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.35
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[Recruit] |
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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.35.5
***** Inter Galactic News *****
*** Message From The Editor ***
Overlord Kang, your beloved Editor-In-Chief has noted the concerns of the Peripheries at the lack of solid news reporting in recent editions of this, the Galaxies’ favourite news outlet.
Thus, Kang’s minions have been working extra hard this week, so prepare your fleshy meatsacks for NEWS IMPALEMENT!
*** Cluster Periphery ***
The affiliation previously known to Kang as the Vile Confederacy, is now known only as the Flagritz Whipping Boys, have taken another hammering at the hands of GLORIOUS Flagritz and NOT QUITE AS GLORIOUS Dewiek forces.
Following their brutal defeat at the Crossley wormhole and Delta-six battles, the Whipping Boys retreated to orbit of the planet Rogue, a retreat that bought them just a few days grace before the FLZ/DEN/HEX/FCN hit them.
Kang understands there were around 130 Whipping Boy/BHD/IMP vessels in orbit when the battle began, and Kang thinks they must have been damaged, or particularly cowardly, as after a short sharp battle there were 33 Whipping Boy ships dead, along with 1 BHD and 2 IMP. For the loss of one Falconian vessel that blew itself up in sympathetic embarrassment for the whipping the Whipping Boys were taking.
A further 8 enemy vessels were destroyed when the survivors fled the orbit, leaving Whipping Boy positions on the ground to soak up the fury of the second day of action.
Kang expects only one thing to happen now – THE SURRENDER OF YOUR HOMEWORLD! PUNY EARTH-THINGS!
*** Freighter Destroyed ***
A lone GTT freighter has been destroyed by tedious Detinus Republic forces in the Arachnid system this week, along with a small IMP ground party, also in the Arachnid system.
Kang understands that survivors were rescued.
You pitiful snivelling earth-things, survivors should be left to run out of oxygen in deep space, preferably while you listen to their last gasping breaths over the radio as they beg for help that never comes.
But Kang forgives you, you cannot all be as civilised as the Flagritz.
*** Brutal Slaughter ***
The tedious Detinus Republic have surprised Kang this week by launching a hilarious raid against whinging Imperial kitten stockpiles in the Shrike system.
Allegedly having detected that a cargo of precious IMP kittens was being transported, DTR raiders leapt in and destroyed two freighters:
IMP Cassiopea (43194) - Ship
Gigant Class Freighter {No Armour}
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!
IMP Polteen (12448) - Ship
Mayflower Class Passenger Liner {Light Ablative Armour}
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!
Thus over 2000mus of Toothless Kittens were BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED!
Kang does not know how many toothless kittens you can pack into 1 standard Mass Unit of cargo space, but Kang suspects it will have been many many tens of thousands of cute little kittens that got blasted into vapour.
Tedious Detinus Republic? KANG SALUTES YOU! Kang has dispatched pictures of dead toothless kittens to all nearby schools, and he enjoys the crying of small children.
KANG HAS UPGRADED YOU FROM TEDIOUS! Kang will now refer to you as the Brutal Kitten-Slaughtering Detinus Republic.
YOU MAY CELEBRATE NOW!
*** Flea Squashed ***
A tiny and insignificant GTT scout ship has been destroyed by the Brutal Kitten Slaughterers in orbit of their vile meatsack base of New Tate this week.
*** Catnip Munching Surrender Kittens ***
After many long years of being trampled by the Whipping Boy jackboot, it seems as if everybody’s favourite Catnip Munching Surrender Kittens might be on the verge of rising up against the hated Empire of Humanity too. Kang understands they have dropped their claim in favour of the Whipping Boys in the Skye system – the critical core system of the Felini Empire that the Whipping Boys stole from them without barely firing a shot some years ago.
As long-time readers may know, we Flagritz hardly have any love for the loathsome fuzzy Felini, however, Kang encourages them to RISE UP NOW! AND SLAUGHTER MEATSACKS!
Remember, a dead human is a good human.
*** Kang Exposes New Armour ***
Overlord Kang’s elite journalists have uncovered reports that the moaning meatsacks of the GTT have recently completed research at their naval yards into a new light armour prototype, called Reactive Armour. Kang understands their pathetic scientists are due to commence field testing in a few weeks time.
And not in the Flagritz manner either, where we strap new armour plates to prisoners and make them run across an open field while we shoot nova cannons at them.
Ah, Kang can hear your question, how can any meatsack be expected to run whilst strapped to multi gigaton plate of starship armour plate?
The answer is simple, puny meatsack, THEY CAN NOT!
It is beautiful, like shooting Whipping Boys in a barrel.
Kang now provides this TM for your ENTERTAINMENT and DELIGHT!
Investigation/Armour/Research/Collidium/Reactive Armour
Reactive armour would work similarly to Ablative though would actively
react to incoming hits, blowing itself outward, thereby damping the damage.
The armour would be lighter than normal armour (20mu) and the initial
design would have defence of 20 (equal to its mass) and a thickness of 80
(therefore 160 for heavy hull ships). It would require 50 production and
require of 1mu of collidium.
Investigation/Armour/Research/Collidium
The use of collidium as an energy sink is explored for its use in armour,
potentially as a replacement to jacium. Unfortunately without something to
improve the structural integrity of the alloys, it quickly decays. This is
why it has to be combined with jacium for light armour plates.
The alternative would be to embrace the ablative qualities in order to
produce a new version of ablating armour, though it is expected to be
expensive in terms of minerals.
*** Mercs At Play ***
Mostly harmless miners of the SMS have continued to fall prey to the depredations of Mercenary shipping this week, with 3 MRC warships bombarding the SMS facility of Teterff in the Titan system.
As you are all aware, Kang has little patience for those meatsacks that grub in the dirt and rock, it is not an honourable profession, which is why in the glorious Flagritz Republic we use other lesser lifeforms to do this for us.
Kang honestly does not understand why you vile fleshy meatsacks insist on doing this demeaning task yourselves. It is yet another reason why Kang hates you all so much.
All was not to go the way of the Mercenaries though, as a large SMS/GTT/IMP battlefleet turned up to put a stop to them, Kang understands the Mercs were put on and used like a shoe to stomp a mudhole. There was little left of them. Barely enough for a nice meat pie.
*** Falconian Cluster Adventures ***
Kang will allow the Falconians to include this press release in Kang’s news organ this week. Kang is bountiful.
Falconian Ground forces continue to regain control of our former assets in the cluster. Several outposts in the now contested system of Enigma fell this week however a large ground party was unexpectedly wiped out attempting an ill conceived assault on a larger base.
A Brotherhood fleet was spotted entering the cluster from the inner confederacy and was successful in destroying two DEN freighters. Curiously the ships also carry the IBH (Inner brotherhood) initials. Attempts to engage the fleet by FLZ, DEN and FCN have had limited results and I think the ships are intent on preying on unarmed supply vessels.
A 75HH BHD cruiser and a 25HH CNF gunboat have been captured by one of our boarding vessels.
Our explorers have been busy confirming that the Crossley wormhole has stabilised amazingly quickly in the Teller system. Old archives allowed our unarmed ship to find the location of the new orbit in Teller before being spotted by the FET and targeted by BHD warmongers and making its escape. GTT and IMP vessels are now frantically building a platform at the new exit.
*** GCE Aquarium Travel Advisory ***
Please be advised that MRC positions are no longer welcome at this starbase. Any MRC position entering the sphere of influence of the base will most likely be fired upon.
This is in response to an act of piracy in the orbit of Shiva.
GCE forces will be taking positive action to ensure that the space lanes remain open for business. Patrols are out in force, and anyone encountering pirates within the Deva system may call for help.
*** More Kitten Smashing ***
Ah no, Kang is mistaken, it is another IMP ground party the Detinus Republic have destroyed, alas, no more dead cute animals, just dead meatsacks. Which is almost as good. Farewell IMP Assault Force, Kang wishes all your brothers will die soon too.
*** Outpost Smashed ***
Not content with letting the superior non-human lifeforms have all the fun at the expense of the Flagritz Whipping Boys this week, it seems as if the Brutal Kitten-Slaughtering Detinus Republic want in on the game too, with this cheerfully one-sided explosive action:
> CNF SR Outpost Castle (7723) - Outpost
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 AMPHION II (60903) - 14876 [14477] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 KIEV (50397) - 13366 [13366] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 NYMPHE II (16173) - 18674 [18674] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 CISCO (99636) - 13161 [13161] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 SHARK (20730) - 4691 [4691] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 TULA II (59844) - 67320 [67320] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC TRES (66642) - 6340 [6340] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 AMBERJACK (67003) - 5067 [5067] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC QUINDECIM (59000) - 14820 [14820]
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC UNUS ET VIGINTI (84266) - 13160
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC SEX (41577) - 2860 [2860] Damage
> Targeted by DTR CL 88 LOIRE II (93156) - 12958 [12958] Damage
*** Lewis News ***
Detinus Republic raiders have destroyed a GTT Super carrier class freighter in the Lewis system. Three other GTT freighters had an unfortunate escape from certain flaming doom. Kang recommends viewer engines on your freighters GTT, that they might be destroyed more easily.
***** Periphery Classifieds *****
*** Treasure Hunt Clue Due To Baffle All Meatsacks ***
Kourdda Gentlebeings,
Its that time of the week where Scribbles lays down some riddly fun for you! This week's clue:
Nothing
*** Pitiful Meatsacks For Sale ***
Due to a consolidation of assets within the Yank system, the Reverend Governor of BHD Mirabile has made the following troop contracts available for transfer to a new employer...
2028 Kastorian Crew (633) at 30 stellars
639 Kastorian Marines (634) at 30 stellars
115 Kastorian Soldiers (635) at 30 stellars
243 Kastorian Scouts (637) at 30 stellars
411 Kastorian Startroopers (636) at 30 stellars
Private offers will be considered
Alandro
Scribe
Office of the Lord Inquisitor
Brotherhood of the True One
***** Overlord Kang’s Column Of Agony *****
Dear Overlord Kang
I am writing to seek your advice and guidance on a matter of employment law and public perception.
There has recently been a campaign (instigated by what seems to be the militant wing of the 'Canine Defense League' for some reason I cant understand) against the enforced work of sentient creatures, or 'slavery'.
We, a prominent if not first-rank employer in several public limited systems, of course detest and abhor the practice of slavery, and do not condone it in any shape or form. It has recently been outlawed in our home system (despite being allowed in the deeds).
However... we do employ a large number of individuals on what we term 'Zero pay contracts'. These are an exclusive arrangement, where we contract to receive a fixed number of work-hours from the contractee, up to 80% of a proper job, and they can receive a variable amount of financial payment in exchange each week, with no guarantees on either side. Several months ago it was mooted that they receive half a stellar a week, but nothing has yet come of this. In fact, so content are they with this arrangement, none of them have yet actually asked for any pay! I was wondering how this would be regarded if these contracts came to public awareness. I worry about an online twitter campaign to boycott our retail outlets.... or an annihilator fleet arriving in orbit of our homeworld.
One final note... 'enforced work of SENTIENT creatures'. I presume these regulations therefore allow the slavery of Naplians?
Yours,
A concerned employer
Dear Concerned Employer,
At last! One of you pathetic meatsacks has a problem that Kang can relate to.
You are indeed correct in your observation that slavery is only slavery when sentient lifeforms are affected. A recent Flagritz science committee concluded that all non Flagritz forms of life in the Peripheries are not in fact sentient. And this was backed up with SCIENCE!
Citizen Employer, one cannot argue with science, nor indeed the proven supremacy of the Flagritz race.
As to your concerns about a twitter campaign being conducted against you in the event of your employment status becoming widely known, well, Kang can simply point you towards his door-to-door napalm delivery service, which can handily be targeted against all such keyboard warriors who seek to complain in such a way.
A healthy dose of napalm is, Kang has found, a very effective solution to many public relations issues.
Remember citizen, FEAR and LOATHING are your strongest allies in times like these!
Signed with broken promises,
KANG!
***** Brutal Reading Korner Of Death *****
Overlord Kang has been thinking long and hard on how to reward you, his juicy worthless meatsack readers. Kang’s lawyers have advised him that he cannot ‘reward’ you in the typical Flagritz manner. So Kang is proud instead to unveil his new section to the Galaxies favourite news outlet – reviews of primitive 21st Century Earth-thing media.
Surely of interest only to worthless historians and consumers of tedious human entertainment.
Frankly Kang is too disgusted by any and all puny earthling media to bother with this himself, so he has contracted the meatsack known as ‘Wendy’ to conduct these reviews on his behalf. (But Kang does not rule out reviewing things himself… Kang feels the world of reviewing would benefit from his unique perspective.)
So with no further ado, Kang hands you over to Meatsack Wendy.
Ascension: A Tangled Axon Novel by Jacqueline Koyanagi
Alana Quick is a sky surgeon, as evident by her long locs. She loves ships as one loves a significant other and has lost a few of the latter because she places her work first and foremost in her life. But she’s never actually left her homeworld in one. There is little money in her line of work, but she loves it too much to ever consider doing anything else and she refuses to sell out to Transliminal, the reigning corporation that offers promises of magic and money – and the potential cure for Alana and her Aunt Lai’s debilitating muscle disease.
When a ship arrives seeking Alana’s sister Nova, Alana obeys the ship’s summons and leaps on the opportunity to stow away in hopes of proving herself worthy of joining the ship’s crew. Captain Tev is understandably mad about this, but since they still need her sister, Tev allows Alana to remain on board. A catastrophic event following their retrieval of Nova turns ship and all onboard into hunted criminals who must get to the heart of Transliminal to both clear their name and achieve their initial goals.
In her bio, Koyanagi describes a desire to write books featuring atypical heroes and social structures. One review complained about the dearth of male characters. This isn't Y: The Last Man, Vol. 1: Unmanned where all but one male has died off. There are male characters, they just don't have prominent roles in the story. Fiction presents an opportunity for writers to venture far beyond the stereotypes and prejudices of reality, yet so often, we keep seeing white male-centric books with the occasional, lovingly described token people of another race and/or gender. Although I'd prefer to see greater equality over all, I can definitely forgive a writer who chooses to defy the standards and present a female dominated world without needing an explanation for it.
In keeping with Koyanagi’s atypical protagonist, Alana and several other characters are queer, but I was more intrigued by the incorporation of Alana’s disease. Considering her line of work and how reliant she is on her body as much as her mind, the cost of her medication, her desire to get treatment for herself and her aunt and the limited supply of medication adds an interesting twist to how the crew reacts to her needs, and the constant pain make her work difficult at times.
There were certain elements of the story, particularly the Tangled Axon and her crew, that reminded me of series like Sol Bianca and Firefly , so I wasn’t surprised by one of the big reveals. I did like the way everything forged together, particularly with Nova. This is Alana’s story, told from her PoV, but, considering the title of the book, Nova’s part to play is pretty significant. Koyanagi drops hints at this through long speeches from Nova that perhaps could have been more subtly strung throughout the story.
This is also a love story, as hinted at in the blurb. Alana’s attraction to Captain Tev is rivalled only by her attraction to the Tangled Axon and since Tev loves her ship just as much, it’s not hard to see where things are going. The path there is a bit long, but it allows for a lot of character development as Alana attempts to learn about her new crew.
The love story, the ascension, the quest – all come together in an ending that perhaps tries too hard to preach its point with all the shiny, but this is only a minor complaint and not enough for me to dislike the author for wanting to deliver her messages with a little bit of soul glow.
Koyanagi develops an interesting world. Each planet has unique traits that she describes with care. However, there is little overall to explain some of the elements of the world, such as “the breach” or how all this came to be. The latter didn’t bother me too much, though. If this takes place far into human future, I don’t think it completely necessary to dwell on exposition as to how everything came to be as it is, especially if that history does not really influence the story. And if this is just a galaxy far away and long ago, then even better.
As for the main character, I can’t say that I really liked her as a person, but I did find her interesting and very human. I like that she makes a lot of irresponsible mistakes and wasn’t simply accepted into the crew just because her skills proved her worthy. I like the way her obsession with engineering helps her to overcome her constant pain and she's never defined by or limited because of it.
There are a lot of really great ideas in this book and I definitely appreciate the refreshing take on certain elements within the genre. This was a very ambitious undertaking for a first novel. There is room for improvement in terms of pacing and extraneous wording in descriptions, but overall, a worthy addition to the science fiction universe.
bibliosanctum.blogspot.ca/2013/07/book-review-ascension-tangled-axon.html
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PayPal.Me/creditKJCaccount
Don't forget to include your account number in the message. |
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
Solo claim swings back and forth
The situation in Solo appears to be getting even more heated. First the NHS dropped 600,000 troops to contest the system and then the DTR answered with enough troops of their own to trump the NHS claim. The NHS found yet more troops, taking the contesting claim up to 750,000 and once again the DTR answered, bringing Solo back under DTR control. Now the NHS have had a look down the back of the sofa and found yet more troops, taking the contesting claim to a massive 900,000 trained troops. We wait to see if the DTR have an answer to this. We can only guess where all these troops are coming from, but what is clear is that the established affiliations clearly have far larger armies than many thought.
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
NHS attempt to claim Solo away from DTR
In a shock move the NHS have contested the Solo claim with a huge garrison of 600,000 trained troops. In a move that nobody saw coming, especially as it was unknown the NHS had such a large force of troops to draw upon, the NHS seem to be provoking a response from the DTR. Currently there has been no word from the DTR in how they are going to deal with this claim jumping, although rumours are that they are pretending the Solo claim doesn't really matter to them and so action is unlikely. However this may be a smokescreen and we may yet see the DTR's powerful fleet cause havoc in the system of Solo, which has for a long time been an important junction and fought over by many different factions.
DNA Chairman TonTon resigns
The following communication has been leaked from the DNA to the GTT's PD.
Greetings CEO Fox.
It regrets me to have to inform to you that the DNA nation state will be renouncing its claim on Aladdin system following a ceremony planet side, shortly.
However, it gives me great pleasure to have to inform you that these ceremonies are being planned by Vladimir Tavikovitch, the South Road Traffic Coordinator. He is also responsible for all DNA and .ore. assets in the Outer Naplian (Capellan) periphery so if there are any further issues, please take it up with him.
For any and all other matters, please forward your request directly to the DNA directorate services at NexusID: DNA people.
The Foreign Ministry objects one last time to your illegal claim jump of Aladdin, but we realise it is time to de-escalate.
Normally i would sign off with Naambta, but doing so would be hypocritical. Let me say good riddance instead.
I hereby resign in protest!
Chairman TonTon,
Foreign Minister, DNA
cc: Directorate Services personnel coordinator - !urgent resignation!
DTR threaten WMB with fines for multiple breaches of DTR Law
Lady Sylvansight of the DTR has issued a fine of 1,000,000 stellars to the Wimbles for multiple breaches of DTR Penal and Territorial Law. This seems a very brave move of the DTR to risk upsetting the huge and warlike WMB when they also have the rival NHS Solo system claim to deal with. No word has been recieved yet that the Wimbles are going to pay, but if the formidable WMB warfleet is seen heading for the DTR home systems we will know what their thought are on the matter. The DTR and WMB fleets going head to head would be a sight to behold.
*** Affiliations ***
AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
BLG Bolg Organisation (22) - Akhenaten
CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
DWK Dewiek Packs (19) - <Unknown>
FCN Falconian Republic (70) – Graspien
FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Kr'Shan
FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
HEX Hexamon (23) - Tranquility
KRL Krell (30) - Namica
KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Cyn
KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
MOH Mohache (73) – Listens
NHS Noble Houses (41) – Roy Roberts
NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz
* Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
** Only known contact, please update us if this is incorrect.
NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS
Inactive: ANT, COD, BHD, DEN, DOM, GCE, HVE, IDC, IMP, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG,
*** Submissions ***
By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous. |
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
DNA and GTT clash over Aladdin system claim while Pirates look on.
The GTT have this week launched an attack on the DNA outpost in Aladdin, in what appears to be little more than a turkey shoot. Around 100,000 GTT Naplian Startroopers attacked the DNA position to remove the rival system claim. Reports indicate the DNA garrison were taken by surprise and lost control of the base in the first few hours of the fighting. The base has since been reflagged from [Free Naplian Capital] Peaceful Protest to [Loyal Naplian Capital] DNA claim Ended so it's fair to say there was a clear message being sent by the GTT. We have been waiting for the DNA leadership to comment but so far they have been unusually silent. No doubt when they have crawled out from under their desks they will have something to say on the matter.
While this attack was going on several pirate ships were also seen in Aladdin, according to the GTT in what may be true or may be a diversion, with reports of a pirate GP and scout being destroyed while a 150HH pirate warship slipped away and escaped from incoming anti-pirate patrols.
Secret meeting of the EEM
A recent communication intercepted by one of our top reporters today made us aware of a meeting of the EEM. This is underway in a top secret location called Black Pool, which sounds suspiciously like the lair of a pirate band. After pulling in many favours, we were able to identify some of the attending members. On the bases that they won't be named we were able to find out some slight information of the subjects to be discussed at the meeting and one thing is for certain, there could be huge impacts to the lives of everybody living in the galaxy. Details to follow. When the shadowy figures of the EEM come together with the top political players in a pirate base the possibilities are endless!
You are never more than 6 systems from a RAT 🐀
A new saying has arisen in the bars and spaceport of starbases throughout the many peripheries; you are never more than 6 systems from a RAT.
It is understood that this saying originated in Yank and spread by trade vessels to peripheries far and wide. Many starbases have heightened their security and added additional sensors and locks to various entry points including foul and grey water outfalls. Beer and drug stocks are undergoing increased proofing to avoid the critters gaining entry and consuming the stockpiles.
Will this present as a new plague of proportions never before seen or is this some simple urban myth being spread for the amusement of some mischievous entity? Who knows, but to be certain... check the shadows.
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This year we will again be returning to the Briardene Hotel. They were welcoming, the bar didn't run out of beer pre-covid and there was room for quiet chats. Along with Wetherspoons there is the Victoria just down the road (Sam Smiths - last time beer was around 2 shillings per pint and a full round was less than £10).
Mostly drinking beer and talking toot though we have a good few things on the agenda.
Bookings are done directly with the hotel. Book by phone and say that you are with KJC Games
Briardene Hotel
Telephone: +44(0)1253 338300
All staff should be able to deal with the booking but if there are any problems ask for Tracy (manager) as she dealt with all our foibles in previous years. |
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
Dog days are over
With the fall of the DEN and the implosion of their home territory as the AFT, DTR and GTT moved in, it was unlikely the Dewiek would rise again. The DWP gave the species a little hope with the Dewiek Pocket Periphery kept under lock and key. But news has reached us of the AFT's penetration of this private area of space that's been locked down. With a base and claim in one of the three visible systems it seems that the end of the Dewiek is near. A once noble and aggressive race, determined to make an impact on the galaxy is now little more than a species that lives under the command of others. A sad end to a once powerful species that used to control a significant part of known space.
Pirate activity continues
Yet more reports of pirate activity have been received, one from the WMB, losing a freighter in Solo and another from the FET who reported they had engaged and hit the attacking pirate ship with several weapons before it managed to make off with it's prize. Hopefully the pirate ship took significant damage and will now be out of action for some time. The Corewards periphery seems to have been plagued with pirates recently and many travellers would welcome a break from attacks.
MEK incursion into Corewards
The FET and GTT have mounted a joint venture into Nog-Kesri to tackle a MEK force. It isn't known where they have come from, with the only other MEK ships seen so far being located in the Orion Spur. The lack of a known link between where they have appeared in Corewards and the Orion Spur has caused some concern among planetary populations as who knows where they could turn up next! Fortunately the combined FET/GTT task force dealt the MEK a heavy blow and the threat has been eradicated. But we all know this is unlikely to be the last we hear of the MEK in Corwards and we would encourage ship captains to keep a keen eye on thier sensor screens when travelling near Nog-Kesri.
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
CIA freighter fights off overwhelming pirate forces
Fin Saine media broadcast, What is Hot in the galaxy?!?!
MEKlan forces attack in Corewards Arm
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
Aladdin faces ongoing DNA/GTT tension
The tensions between the DNA and GTT in the Coptuv system recently spilled over into the DNA system of Aladdin. A significant party of GTT ground troops has reinforced one of their bases in the system and claimed it, forcing the system claim into turmoil as the DNA finds itself under threat of losing the system. With the DNA chairman asking for help, several affiliations have been seen sending ships to evacuate any in the local population that want to escape the GTT. But so far not a shot has been fired and despite the AFT, FEL and DTR assistance no reisistance to the claim jump has been encountered so far. It remains to be seen if the DNA and it's friends will scatter before this hostile take over or put in a last minute counter claim to thwart GTT intentions.
Increasing pirate activity
Recent reports indicate a new surge in pirate attacks with the AFT and GTT reporting ships lost. Knowing how some don't like to advertise losses we wouldn't be surprised if this is the tip of the iceberg. Reports passed to us show the ship PIR Scavenger running ID 43174 and another ship of the same name running ID 68668 have both been in action with successful boarding attempts. It's unknown whether these are seperate ships or the same ship reregistered, but our information suggests that it would be hard for these pirates to cover the space where these attacks happened with just one ship. One thing is for sure, be on your guard as open space is not as safe as it once was.
GCE ships loitering in deep space
After the fall of the GCE and a lot of their assets being shared or purchased it was thought that the affiliation was no more. Yet deep space scans indicate that there is still a significant number of GCE warships holding station in deep space between Coptuv and Yank on the transport route into the Corwards Arm. Nobody knows what these ships are up to and why they are still flagged GCE, but our best guess is that are captains either awaiting new orders or owners after the fall of the GCE command structure.
*** Affiliations ***
AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
BLG Bolg Organisation (22) - Akhenaten
BHD Brotherhood (63) - de Molay
CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
DWK Dewiek Packs (19) - <Unknown>
FCN Falconian Republic (70) – Graspien
FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Kr'Shan
FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
HEX Hexamon (23) - Tranquility
KRL Krell (30) - Namica
KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Cyn
KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
MOH Mohache (73) – Listens
NHS Noble Houses (41) – Roy Roberts
NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz
* Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
** Only known contact, please update us if this is incorrect.
NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS
Inactive: ANT, COD, DEN, DOM, GCE, HVE, IDC, IMP, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG,
*** Submissions ***
By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous. |
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
Tension in the Corewards Arm
With the DNA obtaining several ex-GCE bases in the Coreward Arm it has found itself in the middle of an asset grab of serious proportions and aggression. Our reporters witnessed several GTT troop carriers heading for the Corewards system as the DNA published information suggesting they were accidental owners of the system and that the assets were to be moved on. As the GTT ships started to arrive the bases were quickly passed to the CIA, thus thwarting the GTT intentions as they were hardly likely to start dropping troops on their allies bases. This shrew move by the DNA seems to have calmed matters in the Coreward arm temporarily, although the shift in relations between the GTT and DNA has taken a negative turn. When asked what their next move might be the GTT refused to comment.
GCE collapse
The GCE are no more, save for some scattered light freighters. The affiliation which enjoyed a sharp rise and profiltable relations with many has ceased trading. Rumors point to the GTT buying up GCE assets before stripping the rival corporation of anything of value. Although our reporters at the SSS have been quick to point out that any GCE assets not in GTT systems have been taken over by both the DNA and FET. So it seems many different affiliations were able to profit from this development including a new group called the HSH who appear to have taken over the GCE war fleet. No doubt many in the peripheries will be watching with interest where these ships are used, who the HSH are and how they were able to get thier hands on so many warships so quickly.
Secudus trials
In the Cluster Secudus has continued his trials, claiming to root out terrorists working against the Empire. With tends of thousands of beings being sent to the camps or worse. There is no sign of these actions stopping as the NHS clamp down on the locals and bring them under the harsh control of the Empire.
*** Affiliations ***
AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
BLG Bolg Organisation (22) - Akhenaten
BHD Brotherhood (63) - de Molay
CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
DWK Dewiek Packs (19) - <Unknown>
FCN Falconian Republic (70) – <Unknown>
FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Juris
FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
HEX Hexamon (23) - Tranquility
KRL Krell (30) - Namica
KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Cyn
KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
MOH Mohache (73) – Listens
NHS Noble Houses (41) – Roy Roberts
NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz
* Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
** Only known contact, please update us if this is incorrect.
NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS
Inactive: ANT, COD, DEN, DOM, GCE, HVE, IDC, IMP, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG,
*** Submissions ***
By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous. |
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******Empire Syndicated News Network (ESNN) ******
Welcome to the latest version of ESNN, giving the news and views from the ESNN's reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, making this the peripheries' most favourite and most reliable unbiased publication in the known universe from our home in the Heartland,
And so with the news from the last couple of weeks,
Cluster War! DNA Gather Fruit
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