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SubSpace Static Archive
214
Previous Years
Intergalactic News
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213.41 - 213.45

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.41  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.41.5

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** TCA Declared Big Girl’s Blouses By Galaxies Greatest Editor ***

Puny earthling meatsacks across the Inner Empire Of Wretched Humanity are reported to be relaxed after the TCA incursion appears to have run out of steam with precisely zero mass casualties on any major inhabited worlds.

Kang is disappointed, but not surprised, following their loss of many ships to the Dewiek, Kang has always considered the TCA to be highly over-rated.

But Kang still holds out hope that the TCA may simply be mustering their resources in preparation for a military strike that will leave humanity nothing but a smoking ruined footnote in history.

This is one of Kang’s greatest dreams.

DO NOT DISAPPOINT KANG!


*** Mohache Collapse Like Meatsack Impaled On Combine Harvester ***

Things are looking bleak for gutless yet insanely rich farming commune the Mohache this week, as it appears the cheerful slave-holding psychotic space-bikers of the Dominion have seized almost all Mohache assets in what is being described as a ‘bloodless takeover’, but which Kang understands to be somewhat closer to a ‘brutal takedown’.

With this mass seizure of assets the Dominion are catapulted from Minor Players in the Peripheries to Major Powerhouse in one step, while the Mohache become, for want of a better phrase, downtrodden slaves.

Normally Kang does not like to see groups of pathetic humans subjugating the so-called alien races, as Kang hates you human meatsacks the most. But Kang has to applaud the sheer audacity of this takeover. Truly, nature abhors a vacuum. Almost as much as Kang abhors YOU!

Remaining pockets of MOH are understood to be fleeing from victorious DOM forces, and Kang suspects they may very well be regretting their decision to embrace pacifism in the face of a hostile universe. Kang has never seen a Periphery-wide Empire collapse quite this quickly.

Is this the Last Of The Mohache?

Kang rather suspects so.


*** Flagritz Whipping Boys ***

The glorious Flagritz Empire’s favoured pathetic mewling whipping boys, the pathetic Confederacy, continue their capitulation in the Cluster Periphery, as the mighty FLZ seize the claim for the Espionage system.

Kang is pleased to see wretched earth-thing meatsacks of the Confederacy claiming the system in the name of the Glorious Flagritz, continue to recognise superior forms of life puny humans, and Kang may consider your species to have some value other than as a fire retardant.

Kang contacted puny human ‘emperor’ Lysander for comment, but Kang was too busy laughing down the communication device to ask any questions.


*** DTR Lose Outpost ***

Brutal yet tedious kitten slaughterers, the Detinus Republic, have lost a small outpost to the GTT this week in the Titan system.


*** DTR Lose Battle ***

A small kitten-slaughterer ground party has been destroyed by the whinging IMP in the Straddle system this week. Kang understands 15 lives were lost. Kang delivers a D- for effort.


*** Whipping Boys Drop Claim ***

The Confederacy has dropped their attempt to counter-claim the Arachnid system away from the tedious Detinus Republic. Kang suspects they need those troops elsewhere.


*** Pirates ***

Pirate vessels have boarded a freighter in the Coptuv system in the Corewards Arm, puny traders, CARRY MORE GUNS!


*** RIP Prisoner Repatriation Scheme ***

Hopeful scam artists the RIP have re-launched their Prisoner Repatriation Scheme – a scheme that was closed down some years ago when it was revealed to be a thinly concealed slave trading market. Presumably they are hoping meatsacks have short memories. KANG HAS BAD NEWS FOR YOU, HOPEFUL RIP! Meatsacks in these Peripheries still carry grudges for things that happened 20 years ago.

It remains to be seen how successful this will be, as when it last closed down the tedious DTR were making noises along the lines of annihilating the slave trade wherever they found it, and looking meaningfully at the RIP.

Kang pities you worthless meatsacks, slavery is the only logical solution to a universe over-populated with wretched earth-things. USE YOUR BRAINSTEMS! Pah, Kang does not have time to properly re-educate you all now.


*** Important Message For All Regarding TCA Invasion ***

www.phoenix-krell.org.uk/Ulianwelcome.htm

KANG APPROVES!



*** Falconian Cluster News ***

There have been no further TCA sightings in the region. Falconian forces have slowed their withdrawal from the region to be ready should they return.

A large number of Confederate positions in the cluster have reflagged as mercenary and are apparently operating individually. They still retain confederate sympathies as attested by the targetting of falconian shipping by MRC Nemesis in New Sussex.

The Falconian Republic has donated a quantity of its seismic dampening pylons to the Felini authorities on the Planet Squamata in Skye. Initial reports on their deployment suggests tectonic levels will fall.


*** GCE Press Release ***

****** GARCIA ENTERPRISES PRESS STATEMENT ******

Garcia Enterprises are pleased to announce the takeover of facilities and assets belonging to the League of Extraordinary Explorers (LEE).

Any questions regarding this takeover should be directed in the first instance to Mr Garcia, except for holdings in the Halo periphery, which should be directed to Mr Phillips.

There are a number of Prisoners within these facilities and repatriation of these will be taking place within the next few weeks.

****** GARCIA ENTERPRISES PRESS STATEMENT ******



***** Periphery Classifieds ******


*** Falencia ***

I would like to draw your attention to stockpiles of goods that have been added to the sell market at Falencia
150000mu of Falconian woodcrafts - a 0.1 value non perishable trade good being offered at a mere 11x its base value. Sell at GTT Lazarus for a large percentage profit.
30000mu of the highly sought after Falconian Wool offered at 12x its base value
75000mu of Greater Ground Bird - an 0.2 value perishable trade good offered at 11x its base value.
And now for some more unusual items for your delectation.
19000mu of Protonite - A 1.0 value trade good from Acropolis offered at 12x its value
50000mu of Wimblegoats a 0.1 value life item direct from the Wimble homeworld in Transpiral and offered at 15x its base value. Profitably sells at MOH FRE DOM Whocares Tranquility gate

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.42  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.42.5

***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** TCA Update ***

Kang has but little news on the TCA this week, as it appears they continue to orbit a gas giant somewhere in the Inner Empire.

Kang understands something odd is going on there, but nobody wishes to comment to the press on exactly what. Perhaps they are simply establishing a crèche world? But Kang finds this odd given how often TCA crèche sites have been nuked by various members of the so-called ‘Empire’ of worthless humanity.

There are however reports that the TCA vessel ‘LiQuan In At The Deep End’ has been performing particularly erratically.

This should come as a surprise to precisely no-one.


*** TCA Update 2 ***

The matted and vile-smelling Dewiek have this week reported their status as worthless meatsacks.

But they’ve also destroyed two TCA vessels somewhere in the Transpiral Periphery, bring their total of TCA Meatsacks destroyed to quite a large number that Kang cannot be bothered remembering at this time.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW! COUNT YOURSELF!

You vile human wretches have more than sufficient fingers and toes to handle basic arithmetic. Well, assuming Kang hasn’t had much alone time with you yet. SNIP SNIP! As Kang likes to say.


*** Mohache Collapse ***

Victorious Dominion troops are understood to have cemented their hold over the vanquished Mohache, with only a few free Mohache having fled to the outer reaches of their previously Periphery-spanning empire.

Kang understands the Mohachie Independent Commune might be about to start up, taking what small handful of non-DOM held assets are left.


*** Confederacy Collapse ***

The cowardly Flagritz Whipping Boys throughout the Cluster Periphery are rumoured to be turning to Mercenary flags as Kang understands the CNF have stopped paying anybody wages.

Could this be the end of the Confederacy?


*** Kang Does Not Understand What They Are Teaching Meatsacks These Days ***


>TU 76: Train Officer {#1} {11}
Error - Insufficient skill points to train new skill lvl.
Total TU cost for this action is 10

Sam Brown (#1) gained experience.


*** Pirate Large ***

The worthless meatsack known as ‘Pirate Large’ has captured two COD vessels. Kang does not know how much of a fight was put up, but Kang’s suspects the COD of being weak and febrile meatsacks who are incapable of putting up much of a fight.

Which is also roughly how Kang thinks of the forces of Pirate Meatsack.

Kang imagines the boarding battle was most amusing to watch, and involved a lot of slapping and hair-pulling.


*** Falconian News ***

Falconian forces remain on alert for TCA forces near the Caribbean wormhole. The group previously engaged by our forces remain in orbit of the gas giant in the Sparta system. Information from one of our assets suggests they are forming a creche site within the gas giant to grow more TCA vessels.
The inhabitants of the Caribbean system have welcomed falconian patrols and many mercenary positions within the system have indicated their support for the continued presence of our forces.

Further reports on the seismic pylons supplied to the world of Squamata in Skye indicate that this falconian technology has been a great success.


*** More Pirates ***

Upwards of 600 pirates supported by 150 warbots have stormed an AFT freighter that was lingering in ring 10 of the Acropolis system – also known as the Pirates Please Board Me Here Zone.

Kang celebrates the death of idiotic meatsacks. AND SO SHOULD YOU!


*** Breaking News ***

Kang hates you all.


*** Pirates Destroyed ***

Two small pirate vessels have been destroyed by the Tedious DTR in the Venice system this week.

Both the ‘Eyes of The Dewiek’ and the ‘Eyes Of The Hexamon’ were annihilated by defensive platforms, curiously named pirate ships, perhaps intended to try and make the tedious DTR assume aliens might be behind the pirate activity?

Kang suspects this is unlikely to work, as Kang suspects the DTR already have a prime suspect when it comes to acts of piracy.

Kang has nothing more to say on the matter as Kang is going to have a little nap now.



***** Periphery Classifieds From Worthless Meatsacks Who Wish To Sell You Things *****


*** Vile Den Of Meatsackery Opened ***

Hello everyone!

Coptuv Rest Stop (74042) will have its grand opening tomorrow. It is located in orbit of Athist in the Coptuv system, right in the middle of the Corewards Arm.

Feel free to dock there for all your recreation, repair and maintenance needs. Of course, we also offer officer training for those in need.

Patch price will be $75. There will be a small market of spare parts for sale as well as crew available to hire for those who have had unpleasant encounters with the Coreward asteroid belts.

I do take requests if you have needs that are not met by the current offerings.

Wylde


*** Useless Modules For Useless Bases ***

Greeting All Traders

DEN Al-Pumi (96981) will being reducing its selling price of Structural modules to $20 each from Monday.
2000 will be on the market which will be increased by 100 every thursday.
Sequence your turns with the base to take advantage of this great offer, by far the cheapest around.

As the base is in Quad D11 in system travel times are reduce.


*** Hands Off! Vile Meatsacks! ***

Good afternoon,

Please be advised that Booker steaks, guilders and Hannahannas relics are immediately being removed from the Port Nausicaa market as part of the rationalisation of GCE assets in the Deva system.

A reduced number (10000) of each of the 3 items will be added to the market at GCE Aquarium at the same price as they are currently being purchased.

There will be many items added to the Port Nausicaa market for sale later this week.


***** Read Or Die! Or Just Die Already! With Meatsack Wendy *****


The Last of Us: American Dreams by Neil Druckmann

Genre: Post-Apocalyptic, Zombies, Survivalist Adventure, Gaming
Publisher: DarkHorse Comics
Date of Publication: July 2013

user image

Nineteen years ago, a parasitic fungal outbreak killed or infected almost everyone. Those that remain are sequestered within military-run quarantine zones. Not everyone is pleased with the arrangements, and various groups have arisen with their own plans for survival.

Among them are the rebel group known as the Fireflies, led by Marlene, whom players of the game this graphic novel is based on should recognize. Players will also recognize Ellie, one of the main characters of the game. Here, she is 13 years old and unhappy in the orphanage. She meets fellow inmate Riley, who has dreams of joining the Fireflies. Ellie reluctantly joins her in tracking them down, a process which involves a few misadventures and dangers for the young teens.

When they do meet Marlene and the Fireflies, it is, unsurprisingly, not what they expected. Moreover, Marlene knows much about Ellie from her mother, adding a bit of mystery to an otherwise fairly straightforward story.

I considered whether the fact that I have not yet played the game would negatively impact my appreciation for this, but, as a prequel, I felt it ought to be able to stand on its own and entice me to get off my guns and go buy it. Having read other game tie-in books and comics, I don't feel there was enough meat in this one.

The art was very gritty, despite its childlike appearance. I'm a fan of anime and manga, so I'm not at all opposed to the large-eyed style that lends itself well to younger characters. It still strongly conveys the necessary emotion.


Great art, but a rather straightforward story without enough meat to be as powerful a tie-in to the game as it should be.

3 tentacles out of 5.

bibliosanctum.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/graphic-novel-review-last-of-us.html

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.43  [Recruit]

No issue this week.

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.44  [Recruit]

No issue this week.

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.45  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


 
News
Is open for business...
 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Wimbles Crisis Solved ***

The Wimble Crisis of 217 has come to an end with the human Baron making way to the wimble Grandfather Paden Mastaak. Celebrations were held in Wimbledon upon the news with crack teams of Wimble security staff guarding all the pies.

It’s unclear how long the Wimbles will enjoy this new era of peace and self-determination.

Vocal Wimble Dinasha, one of Paden’s early backers, has chosen this precarious moment to bait Dewiek, Flagritz and humans who were initially disposed to be friendly to the new administration. Whilst the Wimbles' history with the former-slave-loving Flagritz could be understood, their animosity towards the Dewiek and humans was more mysterious. One insider alluded to a rise in the number of cases of foot-and-mouth across the herd as being a likely cause.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Storm in a Teacup *** Yahn Bares All * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door ***

The stargates are closed! Reports from multiple sources indicate at least three of the stargates, all within Dewiek controlled systems, have been closed.

Two different sources have indicated that the TCA have been spotted recently in a number of systems and may be behind this turn of events. A scan sent to the SSS indicated eight TCA ships were recently spotted first in the Faery system and later near the Kasmer stargate.

Another source, suspiciously put the blame on the ARC, suggesting the ARC and DEN were working together because they “need to trap [the TCA] and try and finish them off after the DEN bodged their operation to protect the ARC while they incinerated the MEK homeworld, which ended up with several ARC ships being destroyed and the job only being half done."

However, with no public statement from the Dewiek themselves, its hard to know whether these rumours are reliable.

Lord Igor of the Dominion and Erasmus Andersen of the Garcia Family both offered public apologies at the delay in meeting their trade commitments because of the recent closures. The not-so-subtle subtext being that someone will pay with blood for this interference in their business. Or at least with a stealthy price rise.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Wimble Civil Strife * Who Sniffs the Sniffers? * Largin’ It * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Videtis quantum scelus contra rem publicam vobis nuntiatum sit? ***

The Flagritz Empire is no more! The Flagritz Republic is reborn! Quick on the heel of the collapse of the Empire, the Fessin caste declared a new era of foreign and economic policy with a rapid withdrawal behind the Black Gate.

The new ecologically-friendly Prime Minister Kayxaer, asked for patience as “economic” reforms were undertaken. It remains to be seen whether there will be any price to pay for the dramatic changes being made by the reclusive Flagritzi or whether it will all be sunshine and rainbows going forward.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Large at Large * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Bravo for Freedom ***

Naplian Forces have attacked three human pirate outposts in the Morroglyph system. A spokesperson for Naplia HQ told the press that the plucky duct-tape loving free people would continue their war against slavers and pirates in their home periphery.

One salty Naplian libertarian told the SSS, “The people of the Naplian Home Periphery are sick and tired of human criminals coming here just because their homeworld is an overcrowded hell. It’s time for them to go back home.”

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Igor of Fang and Horns * Admiral Loves Dick Turpin * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

.What is It?
..a wOrmhOle?.
…No.. worse..
….the KANG singularity!…
…..It pulls us IN…..
……lOOks sO familiar……
…….yet so strange…….
……..what is……..
………that?……..

*** Flagritz Liberalise Economy ***

In good news for all the galaxy the Flagritzi have vowed to liberate all slaves across their Empire. Furthermore, the hectapods have given up eating other sentient species; taking up a strict diet of veganism and soy chai lattes. Sales of turtle neck sweaters and Forbidden Fruit laptops have skyrocketed.

The news was cautiously welcomed by the benevolent Felini Tyranny who looked forward to reducing the War phase of their daily Nap-Lick-Nap-War-Nap-Eat-Sleep cycle to a perfunctory forty winks.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Baron Womble * A Short History of the DPP * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Empire Strikes: Solo ***

A massive fleet of some 1600 warships, including large numbers of super-heavy capital 300 and 400 hullers, attacked the DEN in the Solo system, catching them with their metaphorical pants down. The DEN gate platform and some two hundred DEN freighters were subject to antimatter missiles amongst other high tech ordinance.

Jack the lad, Viceroy of the Empire, claimed a victory for freedom and the Imperial (right of) way leaving the sullen Dewiek unusually unresponsive.

With DOM platforms firing on CIA ships, will the IMP now demand the DOM add them to the Do Not Fire lists as well? And what exactly is the nature of the DOM and DEN alliance in light of the sustained attack from the Empire? And will the DEN’s alien friends stand idly by as the Empire fleet camps in the vital gate system of Solo? How will the DEN retaliate for this action or are they ready to roll over and have their bellies rubbed?

All this remains unknown. All that is certain is the “feel good” factor across the DTR has increased, with citizens reassured that for some time yet, they may continue in their slumber with the easy assurance that their number is not coming up anytime soon.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * New BHD Guy * DOM Statement * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** To Ur Is Dewiek ***

Dewiek forces had a hefty smackdown against the mysterious living ships known as the T’Cath (TCA). Seven adult TCA 400 hull capital ships, each firing eight of their notorious plasma cannons, were killed by a DEN and DOM fleet of some 700 ships.

Of the minimal losses suffered by the DEN / DOM, one-eyed Magnus and Nevets Motnhap of the FEL were amongst the dead.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Caribbean Congo Continues * Ur Witness Report * * Hive Briefing * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** The Long Quiet Season ***

Listen…
There’s no sound of anger or of annoyance,
There’re neither cruisers racing on the jump lanes
Nor there jump lanes for them to race on,
There’re neither monks chanting on the battlegrounds
Nor bells calling us to the True One.
There’s neither the lightning cracking of the sky
Nor the persistent Naplians pattering on my roof.
There’s no Dewiek arm in arm to admire the magnificent view
There’re no war drums to feed Human ears
Nor Hive sirens to steal the boredom away
There’s no unfamiliar wing creeping underneath the Falconian sun
Nor floods to enshroud the Aquaphid grounds
The land lies lonely out here
On this lazy summer’s day
There’s no pollution to poison the airs of Inversion
Nor forests to give them life
All I hear is the hushing sound of the wind
Assisting the sand to fall into beautiful undulations.

Whilst we’ve been away: * Operation Giantslayer * Naplian Liberation * Back in the DTTR * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Falconians Saved ***

The Imperials have cunningly saved the Falconian Republic from being consumed by the Dewiek Elder Nation and at no small cost to the DEN either. Whilst the new pro tem Consul crowed about the “victory”, all former FCN systems besides Acropolis have been taken over by the two warring Empires - Human and Flagritz.

Was it all worth it? For the IMP / GTT it clearly was, for the movement of a few hundred thousand troops is surely nothing to the cost they endured trying to and failing to knock the DEN out of Solo after the fact. The FCN now plucked off most of their navy and wider assets are a tiny nothing of their former self. The DEN may have resorted to some dirty namecalling but can the costs endured to save an enfeebled FCN have really been worth it? Time will tell.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * INDignation * FELicitous Caribbean * Nah Plan for Naplia * Mercs Trouble DEN * &etc

 

Free Ship when you sign-up
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Over 20 years of content development
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I’ve played on and off for approximately 10 years, over a 20 year spell. After some interesting debate on the in-game forum, I did wonder what, exactly, has kept drawing me back to the game, when for so many others I’ve generally lost interest after a few months.

Ultimately, I think it is a combination of automation (that allows the game to handle thousands of positions to interact on a daily basis) coupled with Special Actions (that allow the story arc to develop in a way that could not be catered for by a set of predefined list of available orders).
-Zigic