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214
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Intergalactic News
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213.46 - 213.52

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.46  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


Subspace Static - Star Date 213.47  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


Subspace Static - Star Date 213.48  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.48.5

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Glorious Guest Editor ***

Pitiful snivelling earth-things, Kang has missed you!

Kang knew he should have packed more ammunition.

Not to worry, Kang will nail your feet to the floor next time, this should make you harder to miss.

HERE IS THE NEWS!


*** Repellent TCA ***

The stupid and worthless giant meatsacks known to the Peripheries as the TCA have failed to live up to their name yet again, as Kang is yet to hear ANY reports of any Terran Colonies being annihilated despite Kang’s frequent broadcast of the co-ordinates of Earth.

Kang has however learnt that they have finally done something following their lacklustre invasion of the Inner Empire, they have been active in the Ross 248 system, where the TCA vessel LiQuan In At The Deep End continues to behave erratically in a feeble attempt to emulate Locutus Of Borg. But instead of wiping out humanity, LiQuan Of TCA appears to be content to fly in ever-decreasing circles making himself no doubt extremely dizzy.

Kang suspects there will soon be vomit. You meatsacks appear to be just filled to bursting with all manner of noisome fluids. Kang cannot imagine being Meklanised improves this unfortunate tendency any.


*** Disgusting Pirates ***

The revolting pirate ship The King’s Palace has successfully captured an equally revolting Tedious DTR vessel in the Solo system.

KANG LAUGHS AT YOUR MISFORTUNE!


*** Scanned ***

Kang saw these in YOUR back garden. Kang suggests you kill yourself before they get to you:

Scanned:
TCA SHIP INTOLERANT DESIGN (9575) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP EBULLIENT CASTRATION (16423) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP TIME TO KILL (27432) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP INCANDESCENT HOSTILITY (50573) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP INGENIOUS DEMISE (65972) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP CONCEPTIONS IN FRUSTRATIONS (66570) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP CLEARLY OBFUSCATED (83896) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP LIQUAN IN AT THE DEEP END (91239) - {400 Heavy Hulls}
Tca Adult Class Capital Ship {Advanced Heavy Armour}
TCA SHIP INVASION (98424) - {400 Light Hulls}
Tca Carrier Class Freighter {Heavy Armour}


*** AFT In Hot Water – Boiling Nicely – Kang Adds Jersey Royal Potatos For Flavour ***

PITIFUL TRADERS! Kang does not know what you have done to get one of your vessels banned from Brutal Kitten Slaughterer DTR space, but Kang hopes it was violent and unpleasant and involved the deaths of many innocents.

ARE THE AFT SECRETLY SLAVERS?!

Kang does not know, but Kang hopes the litigious smear sticks.


*** Raid ***

A lone Tedious DTR warships has conducted a raid against a Whinging GTT mining outpost in a system Kang does not care enough to check.

Kang is however grudgingly impressed at the size of the explosion:

GTT Erasure Ast Mine Pg1 (46619) - Outpost
Targeted by DTR CL 88 GREYHOUND (99015) - 6496 [29040] Damage

But not so impressed that he still doesn’t want to impale every one of you on rusty spikes.


*** Glorious Flagritz News Of Glory ***

From the Flagritz Universal News network.


The GCE have been found stealing from bases of the Empire of the Race within the Cluster. Tensions remain high with full scale action not being ruled out by the Empire for this action. The GCE ship in question has been ordered to dock at an Imperial base.


The Fighting within the Giant system has come to an end with the Starbase now under full FLZ control. Fighting on the surface saw one urban sector destroyed but it seems that the locals are pleased to have the Empire of the Race as overlords

Major Planet upgrades took place within the FHP. This is just one of many that have taken place over the last year or so
Special Action/Xaxen/Needs
This is a backwater colony that has been wildly out of touch for a long time. They need media and education tech for a start.
After this, a few million slaves (or at least natives that they can enslave) would be satisfactory.
Some terraforming would also be useful in order to improve the life (infrastructure) demand.
After all that, then more civilians would be useful in driving up the trade demand.

Update
Education and Media tech exhausted in order to bring the flagritz up to date with contemporary technology and cultural norms of the Empire.
Following this, plans are set in motion to ramp up the population with a million civilian slaves. Security, agriculture and industry would be useful if control of the population is to maintained. Urbanisation would give an added bonus in maintaining the trade multiplier.

Special Action/Xaxen/Coloniation
Along with 120k flagritz civilians, 10k aliens are seeded to bankroll the emerging markets. Added to this Basic Colonisation Support, Agriculture, Security and Urbanisation techs are exhausted. The world is now on course to be a very good colony for the expanding empire.
Modifications to the planetary economy have been made along with 10k support towards the system claim for the Empire.

This is just one of the many projects that are ongoing within a number of areas under the control of the Empire.


*** Unlicensed INDs ***

A number of Independent vessels have been seized by the DTR authorities this week following their failure to respond to communications demanding they exit a restricted zone.

Kang has encountered this problem himself, which is why Kang now makes his demands in such a way that is fatal to ignore. BEHOLD! THE KANG EXPLOSIVE DEMAND-SUPPOSITORY!


*** Another Outpost Explodes In Merry Fashion ***

GTT Dorn Ast Mine J1 (854) - Outpost
Targeted by DTR CL 28 NEW GEORGIA (50338) - 13896 [15187] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 MARENGO (11975) - 13963 [14779] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 RUNNER (52575) - 14704 [16086] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 TRITON (76620) - 14794 [16312] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 PICKEREL (38408) - 18128 [19912] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 MAGICIENNE (91765) - 18788 [20248] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 MILNE BAY (34640) - 19052 [20586] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 WAGRAM (97121) - 13697 [15043] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 AMAZON II (62995) - 19068 [20856] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 NEW BRITAIN (48165) - 10089 [11024] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 GRAYLING (5566) - 12757 [14174] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 GRUNION (30962) - 18899 [20474] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 SALAMAUA (36908) - 17740 [19237] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 ARGONAUT (77575) - 6575 [7106] Damage


*** Kang’s Funnies ***


Knock knock.

Whose there?

The Confederacy.

The Confederacy Who?


Q: Why did the Confederate cross the road?
A: Because Kang had nailed him to another chicken.


Kang laughs at your misfortune, slimy meatsack racists.


***** Book Klubbing Of Baby Seals, With Meatsack Wendy *****


Star Wars: Legacy II, Vol. 1: Prisoner of the Floating World by Corinna Sara Bechko


One hundred and thirty-eight years after A New Hope, Star Wars Legacy II mercilessly jumps right into the aftermath of Legacy with exciting lightsaber battles, dogfights, political conflict and more. It wastes no time on exposition, which means that yes, you need to read Legacy, both for backstory and for awesomeness. The Galactic Fleet, the Empire and the Jedi are clinging to their tenuous triumvirate in an attempt to bring order back to the galaxy after the ravages of Darth Krayt. Meanwhile, on some backwater planet, the feisty young salvager, Ania Solo, finds a lightsaber that inevitably leads her and her friends, a Mon Cal refugee and an assassin droid with morals, into a whole lot of trouble and brings her to the attention of, well, everyone.

I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about Ania. I didn’t want her simply to be Girl Han of the Future and I didn’t want a repeat of Cade Skywalker’s struggles with the legacy of his surname. Skywalker is, after all, a pretty big name in this universe, even a hundred years later, but Solo is not necessarily the name bad guys remember and fear. Fortunately, within five issues, there was only one small motivational speech involving Ania’s ancestor.

If you enjoyed Legacy as much as I did, then this is definitely going to grab you. If you’re a Star Wars fan and haven’t read Legacy yet, then get on it! The series is a refreshing take on this universe, breaking out of the standard trappings of the Star Wars universe.


ONE TENTACLE OUT OF FIVE FOR DISAPPOINTING LACK OF BABY SEAL CLUBBING!


***** Message From The Editor *****

Apologies for my disappearance, and thank you for the messages of support, my father is now out of hospital having had his aorta repaired. He’s got months of recovery to go, but it is good to have him out of hospital.

Obviously I have a lot of news to catch up on. I will hopefully get to it soon. Slightly shorter edition this week though just while I get back into the swing of things. (And plough through all of those forum posts.)

And thank you for your patience.

Simon.

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.49  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.49.5

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Glorious Guest Editor ***

Overlord Kang sends bountiful highly explosive greetings in your direction via sub-orbital trajectories, pathetic sacks of meat.

It is that time of year when we superior Flagritz begin to celebrate the festive holidays. However, the superior Flagritz race does things a little different to the way the rest of the Peripheries choose to celebrate. This explains why Kang’s power keeps getting cut off, as he continues to shell his neighbours and dispatch chemical weapon drones to melt eyeballs out of their sockets.

Kang enjoys the sound of blinded meatsacks running into mine-fields. The occasional loss of his power is a small price to pay for so much joy.

Prepare your empty meat sockets for more joy, as Kang delivers steaming hot news direct to your squishy brains!



*** Repellent TCA Update ***

Kang finds this one slightly hard to credit, but Kang understands the worthless human wretches might be trying to put together a ‘diplomatic party’ to ‘negotiate’ with the TCA.

Kang finds this concept almost as hilarious as what the TCA are likely to do to this so-called diplomatic party.

Kang will be getting the TCA a cheese-grater for Christmas, and Kang hopes they will use it on YOUR FACE!


*** RIP Inadvertantly Declare Themselves Part Of The IMP ***

The worthless meatsacks known as the RIP because of the sound they make when Kang tears them apart, have apparently accidentally declared their allegiance to the IMP-Bloc with the following press release offering their services as mercenary-scum:


Tired of the GCE wantonly destroying your property? Sickened by the Confederates indenturing your kith & kin? Struggling to cope with the withdrawal because the DEN drank all the ale? Biting the pillow because the BHD set up near your home?

If the answer is yes to any or all of these questions then read on friend.

RIP offer to broker a deal between yourselves and a number of mercenary captains and companies throughout the peripheries*.
If you have need of naval or military forces but haven't got the guts or the skill then cold hard cash will suffice.

Whilst others may offer to supply men, materials and weapons we will simply get the job done. Keep your hands clean and your sensibilities delicate.

FIGHT THE POWER!

(*subject to a 2.5% brokerage fee)
(Disclaimer: RIP will in no way directly act against or indirectly facilitate action against the IMPerials or any Chartered affiliation. Please don't ask because the answer will be no and we will subject you to blackmail before informing them.)



Kang suspects this allegation of IMP-sympathy may anger the RIP. Kang hopes this is the case. Kang likens yo mama to a fat turkey.


*** Miners Grub In Dirt Then Explode Into Tiny Pieces ***

You could not pay Kang enough to become a miner, as tedious DTR raiding vessels continue to make it a highly dangerous pastime:

IMP PC-23 (54338) - Outpost
Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC SEX (41577) - 22376 [29040] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 SHARK (20730) - 4319 [5102] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 BOUGAINVILLE II (67548) - 20846 [26400] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 NAIAD II (96489) - 10489 [13364] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC UNUS ET VIGINTI (84266) - 22925
Targeted by DTR CL 88 LOIRE II (93156) - 9618 [12250] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 LAE II (54804) - 22447 [26180] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC QUINDECIM (59000) - 24088 [27940]
Targeted by DTR CL 88 AMPHION II (60903) - 10877 [13262] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 CISCO (99636) - 10451 [12149] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 GLADIUS CC TRES (66642) - 25001 [27940] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 JUNO II (27377) - 11075 [12723] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 NYMPHE II (16173) - 13768 [16311] Damage
IMP B2 (4485) - Ship
Barica Class Freighter {No Armour}
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!

Bad luck crew of IMP B2, your timing was at least amusing to Kang, and your deaths will be mourned by precisely nobody.


*** Important Scientific News ***

All non-Flagritz forms of life have been discovered to be inferior in over 33,000 different ways, with one scientist declaring that there was very little qualitative difference between an Earth-thing and an amoeba, other than the number of limbs.

And taste. Kang should not forget about the taste-test.


*** Glorious Flagritz News From The FUN Network ***

The Empire of the Race has set about on a number of major planetary projects. One of these this was pushed forward with a large number of Civilians being allowed to join an Imperial world to serve the Empire. While more work is planned it has to be said that this planet is fast becoming a "Garden World".

Special Action/Awakening/Seed Civilians and Tech
30k flagritz join the elite ranks amongst the citizenry and bring with them a lot of second class colonists including 130k kastorians and over 12k hive eggs.
Added to this, government, agriculture and education techs are exhausted in order to ensure that everybody learns their place and knows what to do.

This is on top of the nine projects known to be ongoing within both the Twilight and Home systems.

The GCE ship that committed pirate acts within the Cluster did not follow orders to dock. The Empire of the Race has been forced to take matters to the next level, it will now only accept the GCE surrender.


*** Filthy Pirate Adventures ***

A 20-hull Ulian Scout class vessel, en-route into Cluster, was subject to an attempted boarding by the Pirate Vessel 'Tight squeeze'. Unfortunately for him, this occurred at the same location as components of the Ulian Defence Missile Cruiser squadron. Pirate go boom.

A similar scout vessel was lost to the PIR SHIP Errata Gel Pi (3360) last week. The ships moved there in response the day after to try and catch either it, or the successfully boarded vessel, but failed in the manner that all lesser races fail – PATHETICALLY!


*** Whinging GTT Rebranded ***

The Galactic Trade and Transport marketing department have completed a branding exercise on planet Capella (Capellan system) involving the creation of an archipelago in the shape of their corporate tag.

In a battle between the GTT and subtlety; GTT won.

Quote:
Special Action/Capella/Terraforming as only the GTT can do/213.48
With a price tag that would cripple many small affiliations, the GTT roll out their terraforming project, dominating the southern ocean with the letters GTT that can not only been seen from orbit but from the very edge of the star system!

Kang is unimpressed by this, as Kang understands this terraforming was not conducted via the approved medium of orbital nuclear bombardment. However, Kang is sufficiently moved to stop referring to the GTT as ‘Whinging’ and instead utilise the term ‘Egomaniacal’.

Congratulations meatsack ego-monsters, please do not allow this to delay your extinction.


*** Pirates Enter Exciting New Life As Slaves To Homicidal Alien Thugs ***

The Pirate outpost Ahura Mazda has been captured by USN ground forces in the Persian system. Approximately 1200 Krell mercenaries were apparently organised sufficiently well to storm the base, held by a mere 90 poorly trained pirate meatsacks.

THEY WERE BRUTALY SLAUGHTERED!

And then, knowing the Krell, probably eaten raw.

Barbaric Krell meatsacks, everybody knows it is civilised to cook your fallen foes before eating them.


*** Pirate Destroyed ***

A small pirate scout ship has been destroyed in the Daggern system by worthless meatsacks the AFT. Congratulations AFT, did you shoot a Meklan at them?



*** Ulians Punished By Superior Race For Allowing Their Krell Slaves To Eat Foes Raw ***


The Ulian base Mantis has come under attack by superior Flagritz forces in the Persian system this week:

USN Manis (70460) - Outpost

Scints: 6.3
Targeted by FLZ GS Knights Right (78786) - 2368 [3570] Damage
Targeted by FLZ Ack Sun (16907) - 30293 [34200] Damage
Targeted by FLZ Ack Supernova (40699) - 28510 [32200] Damage
Targeted by FLZ Ack Warfare (18405) - 30450 [33000] Damage
Targeted by FLZ GR Dawn Patrol SQ 1 (79756) - 1850 [2720] Damage
Targeted by FLZ GS Knights Spur (45497) - 2185 [3502] Damage
Targeted by FLZ Ack Moon (91248) - 26718 [30200] Damage

GLORY TO THE FLAGRITZ!

GLORY TO IMPARTIAL NEWS REPORTING!

DEATH TO ALL NON-FLAGRITZI!

THIS CONCLUDES THE NEWS!



***** Special Report - De-Meklanisation *****


A lot of effort has been expended over many years trying to find a cure. It has not been found.

The nanite incursion is not a virus or bacteria to be cured. It is a machine capable of adaption and exhibiting emergent programming.

To the uninitiated, emergent programming is the type of code that exhibits more complex behaviour when more and more of the smaller pieces come together.

So an ARC nanite on its own is pretty harmless. Inject enough of them in a sentient, and it will take over the synapses. Then have enough of the infected sentients grouped and they will behave erratically and very destructively without a suitable control mechanism.

And finally, there are indications that infect a world and it will serve its original purpose. Something we as humans with our brief day in the sun cannot yet fathom fully.

I know it is not the fashionable thing to speak of morality or in stark terms of of good and evil in these relativistic days. But I am reminded of the old Terran quote (sometimes attributed to Edmand Burke):


All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.


No facility is forever safe.

The DTR have expended vast sums to try to be humane. And it nearly doomed a lot of mankind when politics changed like the tide of humanity's fortunes.

And the Brotherhood have expended vast resources to try to "tame" this possession of the body to "perfect" the soul for their false beliefs and ideas. Their quest to create the supermensch is as old as modern science. It will always fail. It will always cost the innocent for the vanity of the few.

You have the luxury to debate. The poor souls do not.

This is no time to compromise on the question of Meklans.

The TCA are abroad.

Do your duty.



***** Excerpt from The Fleet Exarch’s Blog – Comet Duty *****


Kallish Blackfur had begun to hate comet duty, someone had to do it, but why him?

He stood watch over his tech-group as they emplaced the charges. He felt a strange restlessness seep into the marrow of his bones, but years of discipline locked it away from his posture.
He had though time had endured him to the cramped oppression of his icy home; but his new task has reignited an old hunger in his soul. Since this phase of the project had started he had dreamed of nothing but open skies and unrecyled air.

"Charges set Senior-Tech" the eager voice slipping over the com-net broke Kallish's reverie.

"Acknowledged" he replied as he ran through the telemetry data; confirming the tell-tails and did a quick review of the optic feed. "Confirm all is green, head back to The Cave."

The Controlled Demolitions Command Center; known, without any affection what so ever, as 'The Cave', was as cramped a workspace as was feasible without compromising basic operations. The habitat tunnels on the Comet's far-side where not palaces but the Tyranny had has a least tried to make them liveable. Stale pheromones, likes the ghosts of emotions past, clung to the small facility and most of the teams simply slept away there free time in the hopes of making the duty pass swiftly. Today was different, today was the teams last day in necessary exile, the cumulation of their work and the small command bay was packed with every tech and officer who would fit.

"Confirm with Outpost Command, we are ready for ignition"

"Outpost Command confirms, orbital traffic is clear, ignition on your command"

"Then the command is given Tech-Second!"

There was a simple snick as the Tech-second slipped a command claw into the trigger and activated it.

A series of lights changed colour on the board. Then another sequence did the same.
Some old instinct rebelled as the silence of it all.
The loose vapours ,which the charitable might have called the Comets atmosphere, did not carry sound or force; there was, perhaps, a faint shivering in the floor, which might just have been a phantom and then nothing.

The visual monitors told a different story. Driven by carefully placed charges, plumes of ice fountained upwards; lakes, even oceans worth of water blowing clear of the comets feeble gravity. The jagged chunks of ice spread like a necklace into carefully plotted trajectories; the starships would come soon to guide them on there final path.

The ululating rumbles, hisses and yowls that served the Felini for cheers echoed through The Cave.

Kallish let his mood rise with the noise, tracking projection confirmed success; the water would soon be en rout to sooth the parched life of a new world. The near generation spent dwelling amidst the ice tunnels vindicate in a flowering plume of raw ice, sent to a home that would one day be his, where his wives and his children and his children's children could hunt on plains or live on cities knowing every drop of water they drank had been clawed from the sky by themselves or there ancestors.

Perhaps comet duty wasn't so bad.



***** Read Or Die, With Meatsack Wendy *****


Heartwood (Elemental Wars, #1) by Freya Robertson


Peace between the people of Anguis is tenuous. In a last ditch effort to fix this, leaders from all realms gather together, but the peace talks are interrupted when mysterious and powerful water warriors attack, stealing the heart of the Arbor, the tree that is at the centre of all things.

After a lengthy discussion with a friend about religion in fantasy, reading Heartwood was very timely for me. The Arbor is the central figure in Robertson’s pantheon, and she takes the time to carefully present how the different characters and realms feel about their religion and how those views change as the story progresses. The Militis defends the tree with their lives, but the loss of the Pectoris (the tree’s heart), cuts some of them more deeply as it is a failure of their duty as well as an attack on their beliefs. Meanwhile, others take a more realistic view with their beliefs and some are even disturbed by the Arbor itself.

Nonetheless, when the Pectoris is stolen, all must work together to get it back and the journey they each take is both external and internal as they come to terms with their beliefs and with their personal struggles. However, this is where the book falters somewhat. To save the Arbor, five Nodes must be discovered and activated some how. This is conveniently discovered during the water warrior attack and disclosed in detail as new information is recited from long hidden tomes that shake the foundation of the practices surrounding the Arbor’s care. Robertson’s gaming influence becomes obvious as groups head off on their respective Quests. She does a great job of keeping the groups separate and unique, but the process of discovering the hidden tomes and the respective Nodes lacks subtlety.

This is a pervasive problem in the book, as much of the information about the world is delivered through extensive exposition that feels very much like reviewing a game codex. World building is always a difficult process and I praise Robertson for the beautiful and complex world she has created here, but again, the book could use more subtlety in teaching us about this world. World building is a necessary part of any story, but it can be very difficult to determine how much information should be handed out and it is not easy to avoid too much exposition. In some cases, Robertson attempts to find the balance by incorporating the lore through characters actually reading from history books, etc, or giving long speeches explaining the particular view points of their cultures, but this is all still obviously exposition that should be shown, not told.

That said, the world of Anguis is a beautiful one, and I love the way the religion is bound into it and the characters so deeply and how Robertson explores that. The characters themselves are interesting and, while their personal quests could use a bit more subtlety as well, they went through some very interesting transformations. I was particularly impressed with the twins, who have a strong bond, as is normal with twins, but there is a bitterness between them that Robertson takes the time to explore by separating them and leading them to a fate I hadn’t expected. I’m also a huge fan of the intuitive character of Fulco, who speaks in sign language.

As the first book in the Elemental Wars series, and Robertson’s first venture into the realm of epic fantasy, I imagine that she has learned quite a bit about the process. Since much of the lore has already been established, I’m looking forward to things really getting going with the sequel.

3.5 Tentacles. Still insufficient clubbing of baby seals.



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.50  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.50.5

***** Inter Galactic Super-Soaraway News! *****


*** Message From The Guest Editor! ***

Overlord Kang has been temporarily detained this week following an unpleasant firebombing incident at a Christmas parade on Mobile Bay where, as it turns out, the correct answer to ‘What’s in Santa’s sack?’ isn’t ‘napalm’.

And so instead we are proud to bring you another edition of the Super Soaraway Sub-Space-Static, the SSSSS!


*** Persian Shenanigans! ***

The conflict between the USN and FLZ has hotted up this week with scorching news from the Persian system.

Following the USN capture of the 'YS-MO Ahura Mazda HY-01' Pirate base, the base was renamed ‘Manis’, at which point the Flagritz arrived and commenced orbitan bombardment. Destroying USN ships, the base, and over 800 troops.

Flagritz sources are reported to have said, 'The base was about to rejoin the Empire of the race. We have no need for flags of convenience'.

At which point, IT WAS WAR!

But localised to the Persian system between FLZ and USN.

We here at the SSSSS approve of two groups of homicidal alien thugs blasting each other to bits.

However, SHOCKING REVELATIONS have just come to light from the records of the captured pirate base:


Date 50.2: FLZ STARBASE Xenos Ilarnek (6577) tried to take 3000 Cerulean Crabs
(32265) - Incorrect security clearance
FLZ STARBASE Xenos Ilarnek (6577) tried to take 3000 Mazda Rays
(32276) - Incorrect security clearance


This seems to implicate the Flagritz as being those responsible for running this pirate base! Which explains why they came in so quickly when the USN captured it.

We would have contacted a Flagritz source for their response to this allegation, but frankly we’d rather let Kang handle that one next week.


*** Fun-Loving TCA Ordered To Pack It In NOW! ***

Elite investigative journalists here eat the SSSSS have proudly hacked cracked INVESTIGATED goings on with the vile alien invaders the TCA that are as we speak threatening EARTH ITSELF!

Turns out these mysterious immigrating layabouts are actually trying to gain access to generous health and welfare programs on the home-world of humanity. We say, HANDS OFF ALIEN SCUM! That’s OUR dole money!

We’ve also heard rumours that like all aliens, they secretly want our women.


user image




*** Whoops! That’s my security checkpoint! ***

A hapless operative has been killed in hilarious fashion whilst attempting to scale a security fence at a Harmless Freelance Trading Base.

After a prolonged firefight with starbase security, an unnamed operative was killed at FRE Constantinopolis. Whether the miscreant was a hangover from the base's former CIA owners, a visitor from one of the local FEL bases, or someone else entirely, is currently unknown.

We say HANG THE BUGGER!


*** Five Things That Should Never Be Dipped In Chocolate And Hung From Your Tree! ***


5) Industrial Modules.
4) Bacon.
3) A 300 HH Warship.
2) Kang.
1) Meklan.



*** Dewiek Open Space Press Release! ***

Greeting.

The High Lord as degreed that the following systems in the DHP are to made public knowledge and all our welcome as shown by the system charters.
Dyson (10),Acrux (119),Hydrae (106),Mizam (155),Avoir (157),Leporis (131),Noctollis (61) and Tolfallen (107).

Further more a number of planets with or without sentient populations will be made available for Affiliations to colonise.
These planets will be reserved for Affiliation that the Nation entrusts its development to. These are in Acrux and Noctollis.
Which will include but not limited to increasing the population, improving the quality of life for the locals and keeping exploitation to a level agreed by the Nation.
The benefits for your hard work will be sole occupancy of the planet. Letting you use the whole of the planets minerals and resources to make the base a going concern. Also all stellars gained from Sales to the locals and merchandising will go straight to you, so no one gains from your hard work.

If you are interested in this venture or wish to trade in the DHP contact me for further information.


*** Crossley Falls! ***

One of the last bastions of humanity at the entrance to the Cluster Periphery has fallen to the Dewiek hordes. Is there any trace of humanity left in the Cluster? Does Emperor Lysander care that his lackeys have squandered his galaxy-wide Empire? And WHEN WILL THERE BE A ROYAL BABY!

Demanding people wish to know.



*** New Sussex? More Like New Essex To Us! ***

We have received reports that the New Sussex system has been lost by the Confederacy and is now claimed by the Flagritz, meaning bad news for all haters of tentacles throughout the system.

We asked bouncy SpaceBabe Candi what she thought:


user image


And she said, 'Tentacles? NO THANK YOU!'


*** Pirates Cheerfully Slaughtered By Strange Alien Insects! ***

We are the Mind of the Hexamon

We are happy to report that 2 separate pirate boarding attempts today were repulsed resulting in the loss of over 470 Pirates.

Following the recent string of attacks the Hexamon and our allies have been increasing defences on our ships operating in Coreward and one of the ships attacked was one of over 3 dozen enhanced transports now operating in the coreward shipping lanes.

The second ship which was responsible for annihilating over 390 Pirates was one of our "easter egg" ships; the Hexamon have deployed a number of these ships with a mixture of different surprises for the pirates; these will be kept within the shipping lanes and once hit will renumber and rename so that other pirates get a chance to commit suicide against them.

While we should probably suggest that the pirates avoid our shipping we actually hope they will continue to suicidally attack ours and our allies shipping as we have gone to alot of trouble upgrading defences.

Why spend the effort hunting the pirate to try and kill them when they will happily come to you to die?

That is all



*** Privateers Don’t Like It Up ‘Em! ***

A GCE outpost has successfully beaten off over 1200 demons in three different privateer ground parties.

I say, matron!


*** Alien Bomber Found On Moon! ***

We don’t know which moon, but it seems a pretty decent bet!



*** Another Press Release! It’s Almost Like Kang Used These For Nefarious Purposes Instead Of Printing Them! ***

Greetings,

After cordial discussions with senior members of the Vehrenburg family and the approval of the citizens of the planet, I am pleased to announce that they have turned a long standing friendship with the Republic into a more permanent and inclusive partnership. The small city of Vehrenburg-Stadt plus attending outposts are now proudly flying the Republic's flag. In addition, they have backed a formal inclusion of Varitang into the DTR legal framework and will be duly changing the system claim. Nathaniel von Vehrenberg will remain as governor and head of the planetary administration.

I am also proud to be elected to represent their interests in the Senate. My first dispatch as a representative for my constituents has been to request from the Lord Speaker agricultural supplies and technologies to bring the mostly farming community on the planet into a modern and more prosperous era.

Whilst the Confederacy struggles to hold its core, the people of Varitang faced an uncertain future. It is also no secret, that whilst much of the traditional territories of mankind have prospered in recent years, Varitang has been left behind. I intend to remedy this! I intend to build bridges of trade and mutual prosperity with neighbours, both human and alien.

On behalf of the people of Varitang, I extend the hand of friendship to all those who would take it and wish you all well. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact my office at any time.

Yours,

Darius



*** Gratuitious! Space! Princesses! ***

This is a thinly veiled attempt to link this to a news story when really we just want you to buy more copies of the SSSSS!

TCA! INVASION! BIKINIS! OUTRAGE!

user image


*** Privateers On The Rampage! ***

The Indar system has seen more deprivations this week committed by PRV-flagged assets:

“I am saddened to report the loss of 3 merchant ships and 30 valued crew members while in orbit of Indar. Although no freight was lost and the value of the ships negligible, the lost of life was invaluable.

In memoriam, Senior Captain Kolo Pozo, Captain Vasileos Radosavljevic, and Captain Milos Afolabi.

Two PRV flagged ships were involved in the boarding attempt. I will now assume that PRV is the same as PIR in the Halo peripheries and react accordingly.

PRV SHIP Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (91507) is boarding us:
PRV SHIP Gaius Julius Caesar (80353) is boarding us:”

Breaking news! GCE markets throughout the Persian system have been closed as a result of Privateer activity.


*** Secret Space Nazi’s Stole My Baby! ***

It’s true! You can’t deny it!




***** Periphery Classifieds! *****


*** Babel! ***

The Falconians have opened a new market called Babel, packed with all your essential Christmas purchases!


*** Art Wanted! ***

Greetings,

It is said that a man cannot live on bread alone. On Vehrenburg, bread is about as good as it sometimes gets. I am interested in expanding the horizons of those on this world and humanity in the Inner Empire as a whole.

Therefore, I would like to commission worthy art or objects of interest to be collated at a museum at Vehrenburg-Stadt. The museum is intended for the public with hopefully a grand opening with invited guests in attendance.

If you have something you think would merit inclusion I would be happy to discuss buying or loaning the item privately. The criteria for inclusion is that it must be noteworthy and crafted rather than mass produced. All cultural items from all species will be welcomed and good prices paid for the right items.

Thank you for your time and I hope you will be in touch.

Darius


*** RIPped Ships! ***

50's, 50's 50's!
Come on in Heavy Hull lovers!
For one day only here at the RIP we’re slashing 50 heavy hullers in half!
Give us an offer on our vast selection of 50 heavy hull warships!
This is a War in Halo blow out!
Alright, we got Javelins, Gunboats, Interdictors. We got armour plate, ablative plate. We got stealth plate. We got krondite plate. We got guns, cannon, batteries. We got missiles. We got torps. We got quantum cloak, standard cloak. We even got phase cloak! .

C'mon, you want warships, come on in heavy hull Lovers!
If we don’t got it, you don't want it!
Come on in heavy hull lovers!
Attention 50 heavy hull shoppers!
Take advantage of our stellar ship sale!
If you buy one 50 heavy huller at the regular price, you get another 50 heavy huller of equal or lesser value for only a stellar!
Try and beat fifty heavy hulls for a stellar!
If you can find a cheaper ship anywhere, blast it!



***** Frontier Express Times Vol. Four, 213.49.3! *****
An occasional publication published occasionally
"All the news that's fit to print! (Or maybe not!)"



High Society
by Rita Skeeter

Yesterday was a glorious day for the FET! At a lavish affair in Free Coalition, the FET Kumicho Zuvoro Norozov was honored with a medal presentation and a gala banquet. The event started in the courtyard of the Hotel du St. Petersburg, FC’s finest hostelry; then moved indoors to the banquet hall of the everso posh Chez Zee-eN.

Norozov was accompanied by family members, Dr. Jansen Norozov & Prof. Zecharia Norozov, both leading FET scientists; his children, Joshua & Emma, both FET starcaptains, were online by subspace receivers. And naturally, Oyabuns Larry Thomsen, Pahl Kantner, & Cu Chulainn were on hand; though the FET’s resident recluse, Mr. Bringer was nowhere to be seen. By the way, Kantner was accompanied by the fabulous Mona Luvsitt of the AFT; who looked absolutely fabulous. Many of the FET’s allies were also represented at the fete. Lord Simms, Grand Duke of the Capellan Reaches, was there for the Imperials. Duke Laton of the CIA, with his secretary P.A. Normal, was seen lurking about. Lord High Inquisitor Pyros of the BHD was also in attendance. James Stryker of the GTT couldn’t make the event due to his duties elsewhere, so he sent his wife Mary Stryker & their son Colonel Benjamin Stryker in his stead. Finally, there were in excess of 300 FET starcaptains & employees from all across the Peripheries.

The affair started precisely at noon with Thomsen calling the assembly to order. Thomsen then made a few comments about the excellence of Norozov’s leadership of the FET, and that this day was in honor of his twenty years of meritorious service. Kantner then presented Norozov an exquisite medal and the deed to yet another starbase. At that time, Norozov was heard to say “What? No cash?!”

(BTW the medal was commissioned by Thomsen & Kantner, designed by Kantner, & fabricated by Amber Medals, a division of the EEM. It can be seen online with ZN’s credentials.)

The event then moved indoors, where a divine feast was waiting. Appetizers of Kanawa Sushi, Emerald Prawns, & Amphirite Oysters started off the fete. Then followed the main courses of Booker Steaks, Checkbeef & Aquae Pheasant, all prepared with the finest of sauces and spices. Salads and veggies of all sorts were in abundance. Afters consisted of a selction of Albourne Cheeses, Airburst & River Truffles & Old Earth Fruits. All this was washed down by an endless stream of Peace & Reed Whiskeys, Ashley Tequila, Paradise & Surk Wines, and Roo Beer. Various recreational smokes & other such also put in appearances.

Along the way, many of the dignitaries got up to roast the Guest of Honor. Thomsen called ZN a friend for life, “the finest kind!” Kantner remarked that “the FET had never had a better boss; at least, until I take over!“ Lord Simms was called upon for some comments, but was too deep in his cups! And Duke Laton was nowhere to be found, having seemingly sidled off somewhere with his lovely assistant. (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge!)

But the bestest toast of all was by Mrs. Stryker; “As my husband, James, has always said: A friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting beside you saying damn that was fun! I lift my glass to you, Mr. Norozov, A truer friend the GTT never had."

By then the assembly was deep into the mood of the day; celebrating boisterously with the fine food and booze. Nevertheless, Lord Pyros arose to deliver a sermon on the “True Moralities of Employing Aliens”. As one might imagine, this was meant by numerous catcalls and endless heckling! After several attempts to keep rolling, Pyros lifted his glass to Norozov and sat back down.

The festivities continued well into the evening. A good time was had by all!!


But the day wasn’t over for Kantner! He was seen much, much later in the Jiggly Room over on Spritzer still accompanied by Ms. Luvsitt! Seemingly this was just another of their romantic trysts, but no! They were soon joined by two other AFT executives, Master Gaijin and his wife Mashita & Sean Royston and his girlfriend du jour! Perhaps this was just happenstance and nothing but light frivolities. But waiters and busboys reported hearing the words “..merger..” & “..moving to greener pastures..” Is Kantner considering leaving the FET? Are the AFTers ready to jump ship? C’est la Vie! We shall see what we shall see!

That’s all for now, my Lovelies!

This is Rita signing off! Till next time -- Stay Shiney!!


This news item has been brought to you by the truly fine establishments of the Hotel du St. Petersburg and the Chez Zee-eN! In FET Free Coalition, the Heart of the Peripheries!
“If you have to ask the price, then you really can't afford it!"




***** Reading Is Fun! With Bouncy Wendi! *****


The Almost Girl by Amalie Howard.

Riven is a military general in command of technologically advanced undead soldiers called Vectors. When we first meet her, she has defected and is being hunted by her former charges before she “everts” to our planet to follow through on her mission: find a boy named Caden.

The prologue gives you a taste of what’s to come with a strong, resourceful and deadly main character and a lot of action, but once we hit earth, things stagger. First of all, there’s the problem of this crack soldier who fails to notice that her target is actually in the science class she’s been attending for some time. Fortunately, she has an accident that leads her to his doorstep. From there, there are some interludes where more time is spent is inexplicably spent in highschool, rather than Riven dealing with the delivery of her package. Then there is a lot of time spent running away from and/or fighting the Vectors that have been sent to retrieve him, with the help of several other people from her planet, including Riven's sister, Shae. While each encounter includes some very well-scripted fight sequences, the quantity of said encounters becomes tedious and the information that results from each one could have been delivered more quickly, rather than being dragged out through the first half of the book.

Fortunately, once the story gets to Riven’s planet of Neospes, things pick up significantly. The descriptions of the technology and the dystopian alternate sort of earth are great and I was intrigued by some of the politics, however, the pay off that we’ve been promised kind of fizzles out. Still, on Neospes, we meet a lot of potentially interesting characters and the intricate political plots involving Caden, his ruthless father and his brother Cale whom Riven is trying to save, and Riven’s father, the heartless creator of the Vectors.

Riven is a hard and fast soldier, intent on her mission, but Caden brings out another side of her that she doesn’t quite know how to deal with. Riven’s character growth, from a truly unlikeable character to, well, an almost girl, is very well done. Because of her involvement with Cale, it’s not surprising that she falls for Caden’s tenderness, skill and his handsome face. Unfortunately, there’s very little to make Caden likable, or to explain why he’s interested in her, or ultimately, why he actually would be worthy of the role Riven expects of him.

2.5/5



***** Gratuitious Plug! *****

A new PbeM magazine:

playbymail.net/SuspendAndDecision/Issue%201.pdf

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.51  [Recruit]



Subspace Static Christmas Edition - Star Date 213.51.5

***** Inter Galactic Super-Soaraway News! *****


*** Message From The Guest Editor! ***

Welcome to the special festive edition of the Super Soaraway Sub-Space-Static, all the news! All the celebrities! All the lifestyle gossip masquerading as human interest stories that you can handle! Spreading joy and festive nudity to your front room!

Hold on… wait, what’s that noise?

Do you hear screaming?

And explosions?

Is something burning in here?

OH GOD! NO! INTERNS BLOCK THE DOORS! DON’T LET HIM IN HERE!

TRUE ONE SAVE US!

NO KANG! PLEASE NO! NOT THE NAPALM AND THE FUNNEL!


*** Message From The Overlord ***


Celebrate in your meaningless fashion, puny sacks of meat, KANG HAS RETURNED!

Prepare flesh-hooks for brutal festive news infection.

The only soaring away anybody is going to be doing around here is out of my top floor office window.

Signed with broken body of the previous guest editor:

KANG!


***** Inter Galactic Super-Soaraway KANG News! *****


*** Pathetic Losers Join Together In So-Called ‘Christmas’ Spirit ***

Kang understands the whining meatsacks known as Dewiek are joining the puny earth-things in their opposition to the so-called TCA ‘invasion’ of the Inner Empire. An Invasion that is yet to cost a single meatsack their life!

What sort of pathetic invasion is this? Kang thinks these puny earth-things have mistaken a sight-seeing trip for an invasion.

In Kang’s day we did invasions properly, with brutal mass-slaughter of civilian populations and screaming. Oh yes. So much screaming.

Kang sincerely hopes the TCA virus-bomb your homeworlds into viscous sterile gloop.


*** Christmas Time – The Most Wonderful Time Of Year For An Economic Collapse ***

The wretched zone of space previously claimed by the Flagritz Whipping Boys, otherwise known as the ‘Confederacy’, appears to have suffered what Kang can only call a hilariously cataclysmic financial collapse this week.

Oh how Kang is amused by the thought of the meatsacks of this once proud organisation reduced to selling their grandmothers to racially superior alien overlords for some spare change. A great many star systems have slumped from ‘Core’ status to unclaimed wasteland as the CNF economy is understood to have dried up entirely with not a single stellar left to pay anybodies wages.

Kang understands entire planets are descending into feudal anarchy, with piracy and banditry rife. It is a glorious picture of human misery, and Kang celebrates, as should you.

KANG DOES NOT HEAR YOU CELEBRATING LOUD ENOUGH!

Oh, Kang is sorry, perhaps you were and your celebrations were simply drowned out by the massive galaxy-wide party the non-human races are holding.


*** Alien Apocalypse ***

The ARC, a group of febrile giant meatsacks that Kang hates almost as much as the TCA, have suffered a bitter defeat recently as a TCA invasion fleet stormed into the Jasmine system and wiped them out.

Kang understands there were no survivors, and that the gas giants that these pathetic ARC were hiding in have been liberally sown with high-explosives.

Kang hopes any of you meatsacks who might have secretly aligned yourselves with the ARC interests are now bitterly regretting your choice of sides.


*** FET Vs The FLZ? ***

Kang has heard stories that the superior Flagritz race has taken an interest in wiping out the particularly pathetic group of meatsack money-grabbers known as the FET, and that several FET vessels have been destroyed, and installations in Forrest and Daggern systems bombarded from orbit, prompting a meatsack of the FET to offer up personal combat as a means of settling their differences.

Kang does not speak in any official capacity for the superior Flagritz government, but Kang suspects that the mighty Flagritz have never considered it appropriate to settle differences with small-scale limited duelling style conflict, when large-scale brutal mass-slaughter is also on the table as an option.

SO KANG OFFERS YOU GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, SQUISHY FET MEATSACKS!

Wait? What do you mean the FLZ have moved relations back to neutral?

BAH! YOU SEE? THIS IS WHY KANG HATES THE FLAGRITZ GOVERNMENT AS MUCH AS ANY OF THE REST OF YOU!

NOTHING SAYS CHRISTMAS QUITE SO MUCH AS THE WIPING OUT THE HUMAN SCUM!


*** Santa Spotted ***

It is the time of year when puny earth-things throughout the Peripheries gather in hope and joy at the thought of what Santa might drop down their chimneys from low orbit.

Kang admires the precision of the delivery system, if not the content of the warheads.


*** Privateers Destroyed ***

Three PVT vessels have been intercepted and destroyed by the GCE in the pathetic backwater known as Halo:

PRV Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (91507)
PRV Marcus Licinius Crassus (49017)
PRV Gaius Julius Caesar (80353)

The GCE provided the following details, which is good, as Kang is already bored of this news story due to the lack of torture:

These were the 3 vessels that boarded AFT ships in Persian last week. They entered orbit of a GCE starbase, and were immediately engaged and destroyed by the squadron in orbit. No more innocent lives will be lost to these predators.

In an apparently separate incident at the same location, MRC Medjay (59834) was destroyed after attempting to board a GCE cargo ship. The orbiting squadron defended the GCE freighter, and destroyed the MRC ship before it could successfully board. This ship is believed to have boarded a GTT freighter in Persian last week.

Kang really only needed to know how many were slaughtered.


*** Falconian Cluster News ***

Kang is disappointed with the FCN news agency for the following stories:

More assets within the Caribbean system have asked for and been granted the protection of the falconian republic.
The systems asteroid fields have claimed a small scout vessel and a large freighter. Brave falconian starship captains have always scorned use of navigational hazard avoidance systems. They may be less certain now. Crews have been recovered.
Another asteroid
Has destroyed a discrete survey scout in transpiral. The hive designed stealth ship which was captured from the COH many years ago was en route to a newly discovered system in the area. Rescue operations are underway.



*** Christmas Elves ***

Kang has uncovered news that all Christmas elves have this year been infected by a deadly aerosolised and exceptionally lethal ebola virus. YOUR ONLY HOPE OF SURVIVAL IS TO BRUTALLY GUN DOWN EVERY ELF YOU SEE BEFORE THEY ARE ABLE TO BREATHE ON YOU!

In fact Kang suggests that to be on the safe side, you should probably gun down every meatsack you see wearing any hint of Christmassy apparel, including sweaters, tinsel, or any sort of novelty hat, LEST YOU CATCH THIS DEADLY DISEASE AND SUFFER YOUR INTESTINES FALLING OUT THROUGH YOUR ULTERIOR ORIFICE WITH CATASTROPHIC EFFECT!

Kang looks forward to the footage of the many senseless slayings this holiday season will hopefully bring when the panic takes hold.



***** Special Report – Alien Construct Shells *****

Kang refuses to thank Fiona Storm for this contribution.

The alien construct was designed to last billions of years. Much of
the design was built to compensate for the natural decay of even the
most stable of atoms. The armour and the shell work in harmony, in the
same way that standard hulls and armour work together in order to
produce a better structure than each individually. From tests it is
believed that the quantum stability has been achieved through the use
of degenerate material. An estimation of 50mu of degenerate matter per
hull and slightly less per plate is given. In terms of construction
something like forty thousand production per hull (excluding the
degenerate matter construction cost) and more for the armour is not
unreasonable. In practise they are slightly better than standard items
but presumably do no suffer from integrity losses. Research into
uncertainty suppression, exclusion suppression, applied gravitational
fields and quantum tech will be needed just to begin to understand how
they actually built them.



***** Infodump – Best Selling Toys This Meatmas ******



5) My Little Indentured Servant. Explore fun times with this cheap alternative to actually having to pay an employee.

4) Meatopoly. Grind your enemies to pulp with this giant tenderising hammer.

3) Hungry Hungry Mohaches. Feed ‘em ‘till they burst! Literally.

2) Crucify Me! The exciting game for the whole family, where the loser gets crucified. No resurrection included. Winner may also be crucified. And your neighbours. IN FACT KANG WILL CRUCIFY YOU ALL!

1) An Apple With Razorblades Hidden Inside. ENJOY!




***** Special Report – From The Blog Of Worthless Detinus Meatsack Republic Flesh-thing Senator Revolting Shirazi *****

The fires were lit through the night and the faithful gathered in the frosty square huddling for warmth under winter blankets. The suppression of the old ways by the New Harmony Church and its Brotherhood sect had failed to evict from tradition this celebration of the winter solstice.

The descendants of the Aryans, from the fertile valleys between the mountains that made the ancestral home of Iran ("land of the Aryans"), were joined by neo-pagans celebrating Saturnalia, god of Agriculture, represented in the night sky by Saturn. Then there was the Syrian descendants who gave praise to Sol Invictus, the god of state. Ancient monotheists with the longest lasting bloodlines to Yahweh's chosen celebrated their festival of Ilanout, the tree festival, with lit candles. A small few called the night Yalda celebrating the coming birth of the new year.

Prayers were cast for Mehr, sometimes known as Mithra, for the light of the early morning. This Eyzad, a being worthy of worship, was called upon to aid Ahura Mazda, lord of wisdom, in his fight against the dark forces of Ahriman. His victory assured by the turn of the longest winter night into the blossoming wind of spring. The names had persisted as cultures changed and Yahweh's chosen followed Christ or Allah or both or none. The fires burnt and mankind wished away the darkness, even the blackness of space could not blot out the light. Something deeper than empiricism and nihilism persisted in the spirit of men.

There was a kind of magic abroad: of order upturned during the bleak winter night, where kings became peasants and peasants became kings. So it was that Darius took bowls of soup and loaves of bread to the farmhands, the mine workers and the shop keepers. Kneeling before them, he gave them each a blessing in the ancient tongue. To his people, few in number on this distant world, he was still Lord of the land of his ancestors and its ancient faith but it was a meaningless title beyond.

The age of the megacorporations, the rise of the techno-humanist cults and the savage suppression of faith by the neo-athiests had made cynics of most. A new faith, crafted much like Artemis from stone, was invented to control the masses. A parody meme of religion it was stripped of the sacred, invented by godless men who believed in nothing but power. A mocking jibe, they had taken faith, the great weapon of the masses against the oppressive power of the few, subverted it to their own end. It was an old and familiar story but souls could not be burnt into submission. The divine touch could not be installed like software into the minds of men.

Then there came the encounters with aliens and the cruel vagaries of life amongst the stars had cemented the unbelief. Faith became a weapon for xenocide as alien mysticism was dismissed. Through the lens of humanity, under the tyranny of EEM classifications, there was a universe untouched by anything but raw power and conflict. Few could see past the animalistic and primal energies of the space travelling species. Few cared to examine how the collectives saw the spirit or the pack fought for the unified life of their being. Fangs and tentacles, never ending egg laying; fierce rationalism and emotional volatility: it was all humans knew of the pantheon of creation that was beyond their world. Faith crumbled and hope became an illusion, a cruel joke to be dismissed annually as nothing more than myth.

Yet here the faithful stood, their practices ancient and different, common seeds of the divine working through rituals practiced through generations. Here they stood and remembered the wonderful promise, the great hope and the eternal soul. Not shackled by the plots of Emperors, Pontiffs, Viceroys, CEOs or the endless discourse of parliaments. On this night the only thing that mattered was the fellowship of people lighting a fire against the night, believing that this is not all we are and that is not all that there is to the world. Violence, chance; random patterns projected on a screen to be consumed by machine minds. We are more than this, their souls cried out.

In that moment, there was hope. The darkness would be beaten back. There would be light once more in the world. Songs were sung and the world turned towards the sun.


***** Special Report – Falconian Newsreel *****

Kang wonders if Christmas is a nervous time for the Falconians, what with all of that stuffing and roasting…

The Great Hunt on Falconia
The social calendar of the Traditionalist Falconian Noble houses has, for the first time, found room to accommodate an event sponsored by the FCN. The Traditionalist houses have always preferred to ignore the technological and social strides the FCN have made and have maintained control of trade to the general population. The Great Hunt was organised by house dragon, a newly formed house recently returned to falconia from exile in Yank. The lavish preparations for the hunt had tempted many rival houses to attend as well as Consul Armand and ex emperor Harkon of the vultures. Security was high with the consuls praetorian guard visibly present to prevent hostilities between feuding houses. The success of this hunt paves the way for further cooperation between FCN and traditionalist houses leading to greater prosperity to the falconian people. Oh, and much glorious slaughter was done to many forest creatures.


***** Message From The Editor *****

Kang wishes you all a very miserable Christmas, to be followed by what will hopefully be a terminal New Year.

KANG!

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.52  [Recruit]

No issue this week.

 
News
Is open for business...
 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Wimbles Crisis Solved ***

The Wimble Crisis of 217 has come to an end with the human Baron making way to the wimble Grandfather Paden Mastaak. Celebrations were held in Wimbledon upon the news with crack teams of Wimble security staff guarding all the pies.

It’s unclear how long the Wimbles will enjoy this new era of peace and self-determination.

Vocal Wimble Dinasha, one of Paden’s early backers, has chosen this precarious moment to bait Dewiek, Flagritz and humans who were initially disposed to be friendly to the new administration. Whilst the Wimbles' history with the former-slave-loving Flagritz could be understood, their animosity towards the Dewiek and humans was more mysterious. One insider alluded to a rise in the number of cases of foot-and-mouth across the herd as being a likely cause.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Storm in a Teacup *** Yahn Bares All * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door ***

The stargates are closed! Reports from multiple sources indicate at least three of the stargates, all within Dewiek controlled systems, have been closed.

Two different sources have indicated that the TCA have been spotted recently in a number of systems and may be behind this turn of events. A scan sent to the SSS indicated eight TCA ships were recently spotted first in the Faery system and later near the Kasmer stargate.

Another source, suspiciously put the blame on the ARC, suggesting the ARC and DEN were working together because they “need to trap [the TCA] and try and finish them off after the DEN bodged their operation to protect the ARC while they incinerated the MEK homeworld, which ended up with several ARC ships being destroyed and the job only being half done."

However, with no public statement from the Dewiek themselves, its hard to know whether these rumours are reliable.

Lord Igor of the Dominion and Erasmus Andersen of the Garcia Family both offered public apologies at the delay in meeting their trade commitments because of the recent closures. The not-so-subtle subtext being that someone will pay with blood for this interference in their business. Or at least with a stealthy price rise.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Wimble Civil Strife * Who Sniffs the Sniffers? * Largin’ It * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Videtis quantum scelus contra rem publicam vobis nuntiatum sit? ***

The Flagritz Empire is no more! The Flagritz Republic is reborn! Quick on the heel of the collapse of the Empire, the Fessin caste declared a new era of foreign and economic policy with a rapid withdrawal behind the Black Gate.

The new ecologically-friendly Prime Minister Kayxaer, asked for patience as “economic” reforms were undertaken. It remains to be seen whether there will be any price to pay for the dramatic changes being made by the reclusive Flagritzi or whether it will all be sunshine and rainbows going forward.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Large at Large * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Bravo for Freedom ***

Naplian Forces have attacked three human pirate outposts in the Morroglyph system. A spokesperson for Naplia HQ told the press that the plucky duct-tape loving free people would continue their war against slavers and pirates in their home periphery.

One salty Naplian libertarian told the SSS, “The people of the Naplian Home Periphery are sick and tired of human criminals coming here just because their homeworld is an overcrowded hell. It’s time for them to go back home.”

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Igor of Fang and Horns * Admiral Loves Dick Turpin * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

.What is It?
..a wOrmhOle?.
…No.. worse..
….the KANG singularity!…
…..It pulls us IN…..
……lOOks sO familiar……
…….yet so strange…….
……..what is……..
………that?……..

*** Flagritz Liberalise Economy ***

In good news for all the galaxy the Flagritzi have vowed to liberate all slaves across their Empire. Furthermore, the hectapods have given up eating other sentient species; taking up a strict diet of veganism and soy chai lattes. Sales of turtle neck sweaters and Forbidden Fruit laptops have skyrocketed.

The news was cautiously welcomed by the benevolent Felini Tyranny who looked forward to reducing the War phase of their daily Nap-Lick-Nap-War-Nap-Eat-Sleep cycle to a perfunctory forty winks.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Baron Womble * A Short History of the DPP * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Empire Strikes: Solo ***

A massive fleet of some 1600 warships, including large numbers of super-heavy capital 300 and 400 hullers, attacked the DEN in the Solo system, catching them with their metaphorical pants down. The DEN gate platform and some two hundred DEN freighters were subject to antimatter missiles amongst other high tech ordinance.

Jack the lad, Viceroy of the Empire, claimed a victory for freedom and the Imperial (right of) way leaving the sullen Dewiek unusually unresponsive.

With DOM platforms firing on CIA ships, will the IMP now demand the DOM add them to the Do Not Fire lists as well? And what exactly is the nature of the DOM and DEN alliance in light of the sustained attack from the Empire? And will the DEN’s alien friends stand idly by as the Empire fleet camps in the vital gate system of Solo? How will the DEN retaliate for this action or are they ready to roll over and have their bellies rubbed?

All this remains unknown. All that is certain is the “feel good” factor across the DTR has increased, with citizens reassured that for some time yet, they may continue in their slumber with the easy assurance that their number is not coming up anytime soon.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * New BHD Guy * DOM Statement * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** To Ur Is Dewiek ***

Dewiek forces had a hefty smackdown against the mysterious living ships known as the T’Cath (TCA). Seven adult TCA 400 hull capital ships, each firing eight of their notorious plasma cannons, were killed by a DEN and DOM fleet of some 700 ships.

Of the minimal losses suffered by the DEN / DOM, one-eyed Magnus and Nevets Motnhap of the FEL were amongst the dead.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Caribbean Congo Continues * Ur Witness Report * * Hive Briefing * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** The Long Quiet Season ***

Listen…
There’s no sound of anger or of annoyance,
There’re neither cruisers racing on the jump lanes
Nor there jump lanes for them to race on,
There’re neither monks chanting on the battlegrounds
Nor bells calling us to the True One.
There’s neither the lightning cracking of the sky
Nor the persistent Naplians pattering on my roof.
There’s no Dewiek arm in arm to admire the magnificent view
There’re no war drums to feed Human ears
Nor Hive sirens to steal the boredom away
There’s no unfamiliar wing creeping underneath the Falconian sun
Nor floods to enshroud the Aquaphid grounds
The land lies lonely out here
On this lazy summer’s day
There’s no pollution to poison the airs of Inversion
Nor forests to give them life
All I hear is the hushing sound of the wind
Assisting the sand to fall into beautiful undulations.

Whilst we’ve been away: * Operation Giantslayer * Naplian Liberation * Back in the DTTR * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Falconians Saved ***

The Imperials have cunningly saved the Falconian Republic from being consumed by the Dewiek Elder Nation and at no small cost to the DEN either. Whilst the new pro tem Consul crowed about the “victory”, all former FCN systems besides Acropolis have been taken over by the two warring Empires - Human and Flagritz.

Was it all worth it? For the IMP / GTT it clearly was, for the movement of a few hundred thousand troops is surely nothing to the cost they endured trying to and failing to knock the DEN out of Solo after the fact. The FCN now plucked off most of their navy and wider assets are a tiny nothing of their former self. The DEN may have resorted to some dirty namecalling but can the costs endured to save an enfeebled FCN have really been worth it? Time will tell.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * INDignation * FELicitous Caribbean * Nah Plan for Naplia * Mercs Trouble DEN * &etc

 

Free Ship when you sign-up
Complete missions for in game rewards
Control everything, up to an entire empire
Dedicated human moderators
Player and Moderator driven plotlines
Discover new worlds to explore, exploit & colonise
Over 20 years of content development
Persistent Browser-Based Game (PBBG)

I’ve played on and off for approximately 10 years, over a 20 year spell. After some interesting debate on the in-game forum, I did wonder what, exactly, has kept drawing me back to the game, when for so many others I’ve generally lost interest after a few months.

Ultimately, I think it is a combination of automation (that allows the game to handle thousands of positions to interact on a daily basis) coupled with Special Actions (that allow the story arc to develop in a way that could not be catered for by a set of predefined list of available orders).
-Zigic