Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Subspace Static - Star Date 214.08.5
Subspace Static - Star Date 214.08.5



Subspace Static - Star Date 214.08.5

***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** TCA Continue To Get Kicked Around The Universe ***

An unexpected group of TCA vessels appears to have escaped the recent destruction of the rest of their kind in the Inner Empire, and been brought to battle in the Sparta system.

Kang understands 6 TCA vessels have been destroyed by the same combined fleet that destroyed the others, and the feeble TCA meatsacks only managed to destroy 4 of their attackers. Though they were outnumbered about 5000 to 1.

Kang pities these worthless feeble monsters, and sincerely hopes they have now been hunted to extinction.

There has been no word on the fate of the Meklan Baron LiQuan, he still assumed to have been destroyed.

Kang has heard you cannot keep a good Meklan down. Kang cannot confirm this as he has never tried to eat a whole Meklan.

Kang can however confirm that it is entirely possible to keep a good Krell down.


*** Meaningless Skirmish ***

A small group of GTT warships has battled with a small group of DTR warships in the Abyss system. Small numbers of casualties are reported. And even worse, nobody appears to have fired WoMD at each other. Pah. Both sides must clearly try harder.


*** Kastor Bombardment Ended ***

The CIA’s AM bombardment of an insignificant planet in the Kastor system that is of note simply because of the small colony of superior Flagritz who live there, has been brought to a swift and savage end by a massive response from the DTR Stellar Armada.

Amidst whinges of ‘That’s not fair! You brought your whole fleet!’ over 600 DTR warships vaporised the 50 or so Empire vessels in orbit.

Flagritz on the ground reportedly enjoyed the light show and wished these lesser races well in brutally slaughtering each other.

The Tedious Kitten Slaughterers released the following statement:

From: The Office Of The Foreign Ministry.
To: Open Comms Channels.


CIA WoMD Bombardment Brought To An End.


To protect the civilian population and Detinus Republic assets, the CIA and
allies who started an orbital bombardment with AM have now been destroyed.

The Stellar Armada performed a surgical strike against the Empire ships and
platform in orbit, destroying 49 enemy targets for zero losses, thus putting
a halt to the third day of CIA bombardment.

A CIA facility on the planet continues to fire conventional artillery, but
the immediate threat to the planets surface from Anti-Matter bursts has now
been brought to an end.

The Detinus Republic will match force with force.

Signed.

Cassius Jerusalem. DTR Foreign Minister.


Kang yawns in your general direction.


*** Falconian Newsreel ***

Darkfold News
Falconian vessels dispatched to recover HLQ debris from the orbit of Mktkl had an unexpectedly eventful journey as they encountered a large confederate warfleet sent to attack the DTR starbase trying to establish a DTR system claim over Kastor. A number of DOM freighters were destroyed at the bases hiport and CIA ships were reported to have fired antimatter weapons against the outpost without regard for civilian life. The warfleet observed was made up as follows
CIA - 25 x 200HH and 7 x 50NH
BHD - 14 x 200HH and a 75NH
FET - 1 x 200HH
GTT - 3 x 50NH
Further days saw the arrival of many hundreds of DTR warships that claimed to have destroyed 48 enemy vessels. It is not clear why such a small force attempted this action or why they stayed to be destroyed by a DTR force that must have been confident that much of the Empire forces were otherwise engaged in the inner empire.
The Kastor system had recently been left unclaimed by the confederacy and the Kastor Kastorian affiliation (KST) has been noted to have entered civilian control. The DTR quickly bought an asset and asserted a claim over the Kastorians system.

Panicky KST platform operators destroyed a 50XLH Falconian freighter over Kastor this week. Attempts had already been made to negotiate with this platform after previous ships were targetted. Sources suggest that:

“The KST assets will be shooting CIA nutters (and pretty much everyone else) for the foreseeable future.”


The HLQ debris was successfully recovered and included a valuable hyperdrive. No surviving crew were found. Offers of assistance to the destroyed DOM freighters were turned down.

Outer Capellan News
Our HEX friends have been transferred a valuable mining base in the Acropolis system - the first time a hive affiliation has been granted nesting rights in the home system.
Wimble assets have been registered in the Fury system - the first non falconian assets allowed in the system.
Warflocks have been busy due to the local political instability in the Kastor system.
The senate have moved political relations with the CIA to antagonistic following their use of WoMD in Kastor.

Inner Empire
The first of the Falconian warflock has reached the varitang wormhole that leads to the Caribbean system.


*** Recruitment Opportunity ***

The staff of the SSS is looking to expand by recruiting more interns. Please send CVs and photographs to The Editor.

Send. More. Krell.


*** RCF Press Release ***

In accordance with terms.

If a suitable individual shall present themselves and meet the predefined criteria then RIP shall return the assets held in trust to the Commander of Real Confederate Forces (RCF).

To forestall obvious questions from potential candidates, the curious and general loudmouths:

The base Resurrection (4324), is the most notable asset, along supporting OP, various shipping and agreed resources. It is a lucrative package.

The candidate must assume control of RCF and accept the responsibilities of that position.

RIP divest themselves of any liability upon transfer.

Application by PM

The Confederacy Needs YOU!


*** BHD Claim Victory ***

The Victory system that is. Not actually victory. Though they probably claim victory too. Saved two souls? VICTORY! Enslaved more meatsacks? VICTORY! Wore itchy woollen robes? VICTORY!

You meatsacks set the bar so low, Kang is disgusted.


*** More Empire Outposts Flattened ***

The Detinus Republic continues to make mining a very hazardous job for Empire employees:

IMP MT-26 (93266) - Outpost
Targeted by DTR CA DRESDEN (45941) - 8136 [8886] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 JUNO II (27377) - 11148 [12082] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 AMPHION II (60903) - 9182 [9718] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 NAIAD II (96489) - 8375 [9213] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 NYMPHE II (16173) - 12806 [14174] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 LOIRE II (93156) - 6878 [7491] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 CISCO (99636) - 6643 [7537] Damage
Targeted by DTR CA AMBERJACK (76746) - 2462 [2729] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 88 SHARK (20730) - 3024 [3120] Damage

GTT Lewis Zeta LXVII Scout (66031) - Outpost
Targeted by DTR CL 28 NEW BRITAIN (48165) - 2569 [2587] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 WAGRAM (97121) - 5727 [5843] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 SALAMAUA (36908) - 7674 [7649] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 MARENGO (11975) - 7125 [7129] Damage
Targeted by DTR CL 28 GRUNION (30962) - 11460 [11362] Damage


*** Alien Construct Changes Hands ***

The rare 400 hulled Alien Construct vessel:

BHD SHIP LIS CONTEMPT (83642) - {400 Heavy Hulls}

Is now flying DOM Flags:

DOM SHIP DOMINION OF TITANS (83642) - {400 Heavy Hulls}

Is there an interesting story behind this ship and it’s changing of hands? Kang knows not. Make up some rumour. Pretend like Kang reported it.


*** House LiQuan In Collapse? ***

Kang has heard rumours that the Confederate house LiQuan is in a state of collapse, with multiple HLQ positions flipping to fly CIV flags in protest at wages long-unpaid.

Kang suspects this might be behind the recent decleration by the IMP that CIV assets within Empire space are illegal and subject to seizure.

Has the entire HLQ gone belly up? Will brutal in-fighting result? Have they all been meklanised? Kang sincerely hopes so.



*** More Worst Exploration Team Ever ***

Kang will make this an occasional feature if he continues to get submissions. Can you share a Worst Exploration Ever result? Do you wish the Peripheries to laugh at your misfortune? Of course you do. SUBMIT YOUR FEEBLE EXPLORATIONS NOW!

Action: Investigate thick vines and vegetation.
Result:
Investigation/xxxx/xxxx/Vines/No Experienced Exploration Officer
As the team approach the vines in order to take samples, they actually retreat. Being attached to the rock however means that they cannot move sufficiently far away to stop the team. One member cuts a length of vine, but is suddenly engulfed and the team lose sight of him in the churning waters.
Other members advance to try to untangle him but are themselves entangled. The com-system becomes panicked as crew members panic. While retreating back into the ship more vines seem to tangle the rest of the party. There is a gurgling noise - a suit breach - then another.
Within minutes there is silence and the shallows returns to swaying vines that seem to move against the currents. Of the team there are only empty suits littering the sand.


***** Golden Kang Awards *****

You are all brutally invited to attend the first annual Golden Kang award ceremony to be held on Mobile Bay in Yank.

Please contact Kang by Thursday of this week to RSVP.