Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 7.
Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 7.

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Kang is very pleased to hear reports of how many of Kang’s devoted readers are cheerfully embracing Xenophagy, so much so that Kang hears an exciting season of Great Peripheries Sentients Bake Off has been commissioned, tune in every week for new and exciting methods of baking your irritating neighbours into a range of exciting pies and pastries.


What’s the difference between a Surveyor class cruiser and a pile of dead Wimbles?

Kang does not have a Surveyor class cruiser parked in his garage.

BEGIN NEWS!


*** Fleet Battle ***

One of the SSS’s embedded reporters has recently reached a broadcast terminal in order to file a report on a moderately sized engagement between GTT and HEX forces in the outer reaches of the Daggern system that they witnessed first hand and regrettably survived.

Some 45 Hexamon warships brought around 60 GTT vessels to battle, following a report by a lone HEX scout that a number of GTT ships had been spotted loitering around the Agripeta wormhole in numbers greater than those usually allowed by the HBO authorities, resulting in the GTT fleet being posted as targets to be engaged by the HBO fleet and permissions being granted for the HEX to intercept.

Some clever scouting shenanigans lead the Hexamon to Daggern, where they encountered the puny GTT maneuvering in deep space in open formation with their shields down.

The GTT fleet was an assortment of Heavy Cruisers ranging in size from 50-80HH, including Kriegsrunner, Javelin and Minute Man class vessels, while the Hexamon fielded much heavier Direwolf and Dominator class capital ships.

Eight GTT Heavy Cruisers were destroyed on the first day of battle, with many more taking heavy to moderate damage.

The second day of battle saw the GTT fleet disengaging, where an estimated nine further GTT cruisers bit spacedust as they fell victim to parting shots as they tried to escape the massively superior force arrayed against them.

The Hexamon for their part lost no ships, though a few were lightly damaged.

To add insult to injury the Hexamon forces are reported to have received a stellar bounty for the destruction of the GTT ships from the HBO authorities, a fact that Kang finds quite frankly hilarious.



*** Pirates Destroyed ***

Two pirate Broasword class heavy cruisers have been destroyed in the Corewards arm by the AFT.

Yes, the AFT, you heard that right.

Puny AFT, you know Kang loves you really.



*** Flagritz News ***

Superior Flagritz sources are reporting the following story:

Imperial Forces of the Empire of the Race supported by the Hexamon launched a daring attack to tie up puny human Imperial faction ships in the Onissian system

While this was going on and the Imperial ships out of the way fleets of Caliphate ships were again wiped out in what can only be called light fighting in Mydoria and Fetlock

Kang has witnessed the battle, and can cheerfully report the destruction of 17 CIA Cruisers and Destroyers in Fetlock, while the Flagritz took zero casualties.

Meanwhile in Mydoria a FLZ outpost was destroyed in heavy but non-decisive fighting between more FLZ and CIA vessels, before the CIA swiftly exited the battle, presumably hoping for Empire support to arrive sooner rather than later.

However, the CIA squadron ran straight into a combined DEN/FLZ fleet waiting in the orbital quadrant where they received a mauling.

DIE PUNY HUMANS!

Is all Kang’s even-handed and fair reporting can say about this.

But in the interests of impartiality:

DEATH TO EVERYONE!


*** Pirates In Storm ***

A number of pirate vessels have recently been spotted in the Storm system, prompting rumours that a series of attacks are likely to begin in the system soon.

The home system of the Krell seems an unlikely place for anybody to search for booty, but Kang can never underestimate the stupidity of your average meatsack pirate.


*** Elder Dead ***

Dewiek Wolf Lord Gath-Edhoras has reportedly been killed. Details are unclear, but it might have been some sort of honour duel with a puny human of the Brotherhood.

Kang certainly hopes so, as being killed by a puny human is one of the 12 Great Hilarious Ways To Die.


*** Superior Flagritz Governance ***

Press release from superior Flagritz News Sources:

After years of underfunding due to the lack of stability from the Kastorians the Empire of the Race can report major work undertaken on the Planet of Hammer.

The Moon is now up to Advanced Colony with the following techs added to the infrastructure

Advanced Colonisation Support Tech
Industry
Agriculture

Reports are that Transport is only a few weeks away from being added as well

Given the vast amount of work done by the Empire of the Race the Moon has seen fit to change its Government to Flagritz Xenocracy.