***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

What is more fun than nailing a Wimble to a wall?

Tearing it off again.

PREPARE FOR NEWS, PITIFUL MEATSACKS!



*** Pitiful Dewiek Warm Relations With Puny Human Meatsacks ***

For reasons that escape Kang, the DEN have decided to move back to being more friendly with the human empire this week, with the following announcement:

The Nation as decide to lift the restrictions on the CAL,CIA and GTT entering the Nations systems by the use of stargates and wormholes guarded by the Nations Defensive platforms.
With immediate effect the above affiliations are welcome to enter the DHP and Cluster.

Warships are allowed but only in numbers to escort merchant ships or if previously agreed by the High Lord.
Large movement of Navel forces will see the restrictions back in place with no notice.

All affiliations are reminded that everyone is on the platforms enemy lists which means any hostile relation or higher will see the platforms targeting those affiliations.
Also the Nations posted list is still in force and may trigger battles.
It is the affiliations responsibility to ensure no ships posted by the Nation are entering our systems or they risk their destruction.

Thank you for your time


*** Caliphate News ***

It appears the CAL are moving ever closer to the IMP, as rumours have begun circulating that the IMP are providing the CAL with warships to pursue their conflict with the Flagritz.

Further it seems the conflict may be about to escalate further.

Mmmmm. Kang admires escalation.


*** Woman Claims To Have Had Architects Baby ***

Some snivelling meatsack on Mobile Bay is claiming to have recently given birth to a child that is half-human, half-ARC, and that there is an unspeakable breeding experiment happening across known space as the entirely humiliated and smashed to pieces remnants of the pitiful ARC invasion fleet try and regroup from their humbling encounter with Periphery armed forces a few years ago.

Have the Peripheries heard the last of the ARC, or will they be back?

Kang neither knows nor cares.


*** Flagritz Press Release ***

Another world within the Empire has had its infrastructure upgraded and Colonists are flowing to the improved planet.

It would seem while lesser beings moan about the work to undertake these projects the Empire rises to meet the Challenge.

Imperial overlords are having to whip the workers in shifts to meet demand

This is now the 4th planet that has had its infrastructure rose to this level with a 5th only a few weeks away.



***** Letters To The Editor *****


Dear Ed,

In your recent article about the re-emergence of COD, would it not have been more appropriate to refer to them as pitiful fishsacks?
Good job their leader doesn't have a chip on his shoulder.

Regards.
A. Non


Kang Replies:

Pitiful Anonymous, you chose wisely in remaining anonymous, as Kang has inflicted horrible tortures on those who utter terrible puns like this.

But to answer your puny question, it would not be appropriate, as Kang has personally eviscerated several members of the COD affiliation, and found that they are not in fact filled with fish.

Yours,

KANG!



***** Periphery Classifieds *****


*** For Sale ***

I have a load of 3051 Helios Coral coming out of the Inner Empire midweek. Looking for someone to sell it to. send your est offer by PM/

Helios Coral (30239)
Name Helios Coral
Number 30239
Type Trade Good
Mus 1 mus
Production 1
Value at Source 0.800 (Stellars/unit)
Subtype Normal
Tech level 1
Origin System Apollo (36)
Origin Celestial Body Helios (5433)
Tech Manual The colour of the minerals deposited by the plants and creatures however is still present. It has a range of colours covering the entire spectrum although blue and green appear to be the most common next to white.
The coral makes very attractive jewellery and is superb for gouging out the eyes of lesser meatsacks.


*** Crunchy Nibbles ***

The Dewiek Nation has 8,000 surplus Mohache Employees in the Cluster.

If anyone would like to purchase there contracts contact me in the next few days before they join the unemployed.


*** Pointless Effort ***

Salute

we have a Training - Human (8510) - 1000 mus for sale, just 300.000 stellars

Warlord Namica

Unless they can be trained to swallow live hand grenades Kang is simply not interested.