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Issue 27

Intergalactic News - Issue 27

Message from the editor
It’s not easy writing a Christmas story. Including elements of Christmas, some obvious, others less so can easily descend into trite and cheesy sentimentality. I finally opted to write a story with parallels to the Christmas theme but also one that could I think stand alone. It also had to be consistent with the Phoenix universe. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and don’t give the Flagritz such a hard time over Cheant, you know you can’t trust anything a privateer captain tells you and it is Christmas and all.

This story is however is a far cry from one I abandoned early doors and I am very glad that I did. It didn’t get much beyond the following but even at this point I knew it would end up being utter crap:

Christmas comes to Harlong
‘God rest ye merry gentlemen, let dah dah dee dee dah, mmn mmn m dah dee dah dah.’
‘What are you doing?’ snarled captain Grinch as he towered over the puny human busy covering a small plant in what looked like loose bits of shredded silvered insulation duct.
Crewman Santa froze, the next dah or dee gulped back. ‘Er, Christmas?’ he replied, not daring to face the dewiek. ‘Tis the season to be jolly,’ he added helpfully.
‘Not on my ship it isn’t. Dump it all before we leave port.’ With that Grinch stomped off no doubt to make somebody else’s life a misery.
Santa sat there looking at his half decorated creation. Only moments before he was feeling pretty chuffed with himself at having sourced a neo-spruce in the heart of Corewards. How this small coniferous tree had managed to get itself from the heart of the Inner Empire all the way out here was a mystery. He suspected that it was part of an alien plantlife delivery for one of the worlds being colonised by the mass migration of humanity. It cost him more than a week’s wages and that was after haggling. It would be doubtful he could get his money back even presuming he could find the exotic arborealist.

All that is left to say is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.


In this issue:
  • Pubmeet 2014
  • Story - Silent Night
  • Developments for 2015
  • Blog of the Week - Passing Time
    Is open for business...
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Crowe Coups Self

    The IMP Viceroy Tiberius Crowe has finally achieved something in his unremarkable tenure by relinquishing even the semblance of wearing big boy pants and instead, appointed Jack Jones as Patrol Commissioner, salty spokesperson and policy maker for the Empire. Crowe will now join CIA Director Laton in riding the special bus to work where the two of them will enjoy long pleasant afternoons sipping cups of tea. Actually, just tepid fruit-scented water as neither of them can be fully trusted with a hot kettle. Occasionally, they might be visited by equally dynamic war “veteran” Admiral Bridge to enjoy mimes presenting the latest comics from the Howl. Meanwhile, Jones is putting pressure on the FET and will soon no doubt find a pretext to deploy his vast mercenary forces against anyone else who is seen working too closely with his most hated of enemies, the HEX.

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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Highlord Aadolf Loses Control As Dewiek Break Peace Treaty

    Around one hundred DEN warships have launched an attack on a small GTT destroyer squadron of forty ships in the Daggern system. Two GTT ships were destroyed and another fifteen suffered noticeable damage. CEO Xavier Fox issued a restrained but angry statement demanding the DEN explain themselves. Highlord Aadolf’s buffoon-like response amounted to “Dewiek be Dewiek, let’s drink and forget about it.” Cold comfort for the dead crew onboard the GTT ships and their families. Especially, as seems likely at this time, the Empire will settle for some bloody money instead of retribution.

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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    The Worm Turns

    The FET have reduced relations with the IMP to neutral. Sneezy boss Cu Chulainn took the bold step of putting 1 and 1 together by linking recent mercenary attacks in their systems with the IMP scouts seen loitering for some time and refusing to move. Even bolder, hints that they believe “a certain Imperial citizen” is responsible for Edward Lowe’s entire underhand operation were voiced loudly enough that the handsome but hard of hearing Tiberius Crowe had to take note. He was seen grappling in trademark fashion with his skin tight jacket, pulling it down over his partially concealed middle-aged girth, as he sat to issue a terse public statement. Exactly who this citizen may be was left unnamed and no news channel subject to Imperial laws would dare unmask the villain. Luckily dear readers, we are not subject to phony Imperial laws. It’s Jack Jones everybody. Jack Jones, butcher of Naplians and fancier of silver long johns.

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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    ”Necessity hath no law”

    Lord Cromwell of the DOM slapped a fleet of privateers, on charges of "knavery", "bad manners" and "poor sportsmanship." Such offences carry the death sentence in the Dominion, a nebulous territory neither part of the Empire nor apart from it. At least thirteen Armadillo class ships, typically sold by the DOM, were destroyed at a location Cromwell was unwilling to disclose publicly. Bloodthirsty Dewiek as well as "prince of peace" Yahn Wodenzoon were quick to congratulate the DOM for their merciless carnage. It seems the consensus in the galaxy’s ruling class is that not presenting valid identification is a crime worthy of the murder of dozens, perhaps hundreds, of unfortunate crewmen. This is all just another indicator that the political elite are far removed from the lives of ordinary people who are seen as little more than meat inventory. It is telling so-called “man of the people and the downtrodden” Wodenzoon so readily aligns himself with this grisly concord. Meanwhile, the archaic elocutionist Cromwell further establishes the recent trend of mild exertions of power by the cold-blooded DOM.

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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Return of the Fox

    The galaxy is still digesting news of the return of Xavier Fox to the boardroom of the GTT. The ailing corporation's share price began a sharp rally after a six month downward spiral under Ike Krieger, credited with being the worst CEO in the megacorporation's history. The only surviving board member from Fox's initial tenure as CEO, and perhaps across the entire GTT board, is Antt Tilton the Research Director. The reclusive Tilton is the brains behind the ascension of GTT technology, particularly in the field of antimatter weapons and super-heavy dreadnought size ships, Tilton offers a small measure of continuity during this tumultuous time. Mr. Fox has therefore resorted to a broad appeal for new blood to join the ailing firm. So far, the result has been a number of two-dimensional "Yes" persons being promoted to the C-suite. Still, key stakeholders were upbeat with one commenting, "Fox is the man to turn this bloody disaster around. He knows how to put a great team together and where to bury the bodies of the non-performers."

    ******Empire Syndicated News Network (ESNN) ******

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    Welcome to the latest version of ESNN, giving the news and views from the ESNN's reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, making this the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe,

    And so with the news,
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    ******Empire Syndicated News Network (ESNN) ******

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    Welcome to the new version of ESNN (formally CSNN), giving the news and views from the former CSNN's reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, making this the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe,

    And so with the news,

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    I’ve played on and off for approximately 10 years, over a 20 year spell. After some interesting debate on the in-game forum, I did wonder what, exactly, has kept drawing me back to the game, when for so many others I’ve generally lost interest after a few months.

    Ultimately, I think it is a combination of automation (that allows the game to handle thousands of positions to interact on a daily basis) coupled with Special Actions (that allow the story arc to develop in a way that could not be catered for by a set of predefined list of available orders).